#<- i still voted the first answer because im gonna be honest. im not ever gonna get a separate one lmao.

[gu6chan]

And yet, we still haven't had the revolution.

I was debating whether or not I should even justify this with an answer bc why are you hiding behind anonymous for a take this mild 😭 come on out, little fella!!!!! im just old and tired im not gonna hurt ya.... tbh i don't even really have time for this BUT!!!!! I'd rlly recommend looking at the progression of history generally because realising things have build-up and don't happen out of the blue. things are a reflection of material circumstance and you might be right, this ball has just started to roll and it could slow down with enough effort being put into an appeasing veil or it could continue to gain momentum and THEN something like a revolution may occur. Don't say the house is on fire when you just lit a match 😭

Personally, I still think we're far off from it myself. That said it's still way, way, way to early to see since last I checked the sentencing hadn't even been given yet??? Though I could be behind the news lol the point is US citizens have yet to even PROCESS a reaction to that sentencing, what that says about the state of the ruling class, etc. whether this grows into something else or not (personally, im doubting it will) to throw your arms up this early on and say nothing ever happens seems kinda,,, i don't know the word, rash? i think??

The lack of votes in general during the US elections has shown a growing distrust or lack of faith in the system among the public. This has been the FIRST widely notable instance of direct action, and I'll be honest it was a shocker for me since I mostly know Americans as being the most "whatever" in terms of not wanting to put up a fight in the face of their rights and dignities being taken away. And part of me can't blame them given how utterly propaganised the people are to believe that the rest of the world is just like it and better things aren't possible, but that's it's own topic lolol

But!!!! I can say in confidence that revolution is a certainty when life becomes unlivable for the working class. Things can, and have yet to, get much, much worse. We have yet to see what kind of reaction the ruling class will take in the aftermath of this rebellion, and I think depending on the sentencing, we can get an idea of how that will shape things for both sides in the coming years. Increased militarization of the police force has been on my mind in particular. Either way, that's all to say a revolution doesn't just happen overnight!! Whether things will great up or slow down in the short term, I can't say. But they will continue to get worse, and the larger general public IS going to get fed up with it eventually. It's just a matter of how far they decide to take this, and the consequences we'll see for it down the line. Be patient!

[noco7]

What do you think of All Stars and how the writers handled the characters?

Now, I don’t know how much of a hot-take this is, but I don’t find All Stars that uniquely bad, at least for Total Drama. Unjust eliminations and lost potential? I’m a Noah stan who had to watch I See London, and then see Blaineley take his place. Villain that nobody votes out despite the obvious? I’ve watched Heather dodge elimination after elimination in Island and World Tour alike. Random evil mental disorder? That’s just Trent in Action, baby. All Stars is more of the same bad writing, just cranked up a little higher and all at once. But it’s still the same bad writing. Tho, I may be a little biased here. Not because I like All Stars, I don’t - but I knew how bad it was before I watched it. I had seen the rants about every major plot point before I watched a single episode. So I never had hopes for the thing. Perhaps that explains my detachment during viewing. And I'm gonna be honest - I *don’t* have strong feelings on most gen 1 characters, so it’s hard for me to work up the passion about their character derailment. 

But if you still want my specific thoughts on each character:

Courtney: As one of the few gen 1 characters I do care about, I should probably be more mad about Suddy Muddy Sundae then I actually am. But uhhh. I actually like it when Courtney is evil and mean, lol. So the idea of her betraying a close friend? That’s funky, that’s cool - in isolation, that is. In the context of the show, it doesn’t really work. There’s no foreshadowing to the twist, there’s no gradual darkening of her character. It’s just “And Now Courtney does something Evil.” Great. My condolences to anyone who watched this show blind and thought they were getting a character development arc. Probably felt like a slap in the face. But out of context, the idea isn’t that bad. 

It's like that Game of Thrones thing, with Daenarys going evil. Could it believably happen? Sure. But should it have happened so fast? NO.

Gwen: ... Ehh. I think this season was trying to redeem her from WT. That's why she's trying so hard to apologize, that’s why Gwuncan breaks up. And that’s why Gwen says "he wasn't your boyfriend.” I don’t think she was trying to lie, but that the writers wanted us to genuinely believe that, retcon style. But overall, she was fine. A little weird, because WHY is she trying so hard to makeup to Courtney, the girl she was barely friends with? WHY would she ever go back to Total Drama, the show that she hates being on, just for the girl that wasn’t even that good to her in the first place? That’s weird. But “character derailment,” is a lot easier to swallow when it makes the character a nicer person, isn’t it? Also the joke in the beginning where she's the only villain character trying to be sincere and help the team is pretty funny.

Aleheather: I’m grouping them together because they’re very similar people. Evil, conniving villain that no-one really trusts because they’ve seen it all before. They do both get more stupid in AS (why would Heather just leave the victory idol? and why does Alejandro not like... do more with the Mal plotline). But they’re still funny in their own rights. But as a ship, they were disappointing. I think that's because the writers did not know what to do with them after they got together. Which tbf, isn't just a TD problem. A lot of stories end when the characters get together. The romantic plotline is fulfilled. So what are you supposed to do in the sequel, when the Will-They/Won't-They is done? What now? TD's answer was just to pretend that their romantic arc WASN’T finished. So now they're back to hate-flirting, in the exact same way they did in WT. I think a person who cared more about Aleheather (@tdsierra) would probably have a lot more to say about the ship in All Stars, that might even contradict what I say here. But this is all I have to say on them.

Duncan: I don't hate him in AS. I think the whole "no one can know im a nice person," although exaggerated in AS, is true to Duncan as a character. He always had a masculinity so fragile a tap-dancing ant could break it. So whatever, I guess. Probably didn’t help that the girlfriends who used to boost his ego - Courtney and Gwen, left him behind. Tbh, he might be the best written character on All Stars. His ending of blowing up Chris’s house and going to jail does feel odd though. It’s such a sad end to his character. In TDI he was growing to open up, but in AS he’s so defensive that he ends up in jail. I don’t think it’s a bad ending persay, that he regressed. But it’s definitely sad to see. Also the bird he was friends with was ridiculously cute. I love that bird.

Sierra: Gonna be honest, although she is very different in AS - (in a like, psychosis way, when she never had them before) I don't know if I'd call it "character derailment," that she’s still obssessed with Cody and still a creep. Because honestly, I don’t think she ever stopped being one. We’ve never seen her acknowledge her actions as wrong, nor has she apologized/promised to do better. Even in the episode in WT where she accepts being Cody's best friend, she also tries to kiss him again. Perhaps this is the true hot take - Sierra never underwent character development in the first place. I also don't understand why she's on the Hero's team. Was it *heroic* when she stole Cody's underwear? Was it? Did the writers just put her there so as to even the numbers? Or did they buy into the idea that Sierra is a good person, despite being a stalker, because stalkers act out of “love,” and she always just wanted to “protect him.” And therefore, she’s a hero. But perhaps it’s just that she’s not a standard villain. All TD villains are in it for the money and have master-ish plans, while Sierra... does not. I guess that’s close enough to being a hero for AS team designations. Anyway, Sierra should have been cut from AS all together. Nothing here adds to her character, she didn’t belong on the heroes team. [However, if they put her on the villains team and she had to grapple with the idea that her actions were evil and terrible and learn from that... honestly could have been a baller redemption arc.]

Lindsay: Whatever. She was there for one episode, what do you want me to say? Lol. I guess I could say that I don't think she was "character derailed" (she has voted for herself before, and has been bad at voting, so I don’t think it’s OOC for her to vote for herself. 

SECOND GEN

Sam - I agree he should have been replaced with Brick. He doesn’t have anything to do this season. It is touching that he wants to be a mutant to be with his mutant gf though.

Jo - they did her such a disservice im crying thats my girl!!!! like she was such a cool character who had obvious development that needed to happen, and then they just chose not to. It's so weird. Especially when Cameron is on the show, and there's already a history between them. They could work smth out! Or not, but still. And if Brick was indeed on the show - that's another avenue for development! I love Jo, and she was still funny on AS but... they should have taken the chance to flesh her out. But they didn’t.

Honestly, the 2nd gen characters deserved more focus. And I'm not talking about Mike and Zoey, but Lightning and Jo. 1st gen had 3 whole seasons already to flex, but 2nd gen had only one shortened season. As such, maybe focusing on them would have been better.

Lightning: Man also deserved better. He was very funny though. But still.

Scott: This one's weird, because AS Scott is funny, but he is also a completely different person from ROTI Scott. I don't know what I would change about AS Scott, other than make him more like ROTI Scott. Also maybe he and Cameron could have teamed up to expose Mal, considering Scott also has experience with Mike's Alters.

Cameron: why did they make you so stupid. and why was he not able to expose Mal earlier? why? i did like the scene where he used Scott as bait for Fang tho. That was really funny. And I always wished Cameron had ended up as the Villain of ROTI, so it was gratifying.

Mike - ugh. Using his DID as his only plot point was bad enough in ROTI, but to also use it as the main plot of AS? Really guys. Read the room. Also, they were wrong about alters, and as multiple people have said, Mal should have been more of a protective alter, rather than just evil for the sake of it. But I think Mike was always a kind of boring character because his main/fronting alter is Mike. And Mike's just a boring guy. I feel like TDI was trying to do the activist thing where "people with X can still be good people!" and so you get the blandest characters. Think of the Love, Simon movie. "im such a normal guy EXCEPT im gay." that's the vibe with Mike. "im a normal guy EXCEPT i have DID." to prove that people with DID can be "normal." But it stops the character from being interesting, and also... is *normal* the thing we need to be aiming for? There's a lot of interesting discourse around that, but that's not important for this post, lol.

Zoey - she's Zoey. She wasn't a great character to start with and she's not a great character now. And she's also very stupid - Mal has that effect on people. It's hard to have strong feelings on a character you never cared about in the first place.

Overall I'd say that TD had a bad vision of making their most "evil" villain yet, and what makes a villain frightening is how much power they have over their victims... but the victims were all capable people who had won survival shows and were known for being smart and/or athletic. And instead of taking that into account and writing the villain better, they just... forced all the victims to be stupider. 

I think they should have written All Stars as a “wrap up loose character development season,” instead of coming up with a mega villain plot. Because total drama fans are in it for the Characters more than anything else. So just focus on growing them, and people would have been happy.

[junko-and-riri-domain]

❦ 11 pm 2/14/2X | l.hs

❦ genre: lee heeseung x reader, valentine’s day fic, fluff

❦ warnings: none

❦  note:

semi-established relationship in that heeseung & reader have met/known each other before iland & enhypen’s debut which is why the storyline starts in the year 201X

this is one of 7 vday fics

the other members vday fics will be linked at the bottom 

[12.24.201X]

As you let out a sigh while staring at the screen of your laptop, you checked the time on the upper right corner to see that it was nearing the closing time of BH Cafe, the cafe you frequented practically daily. Just a few hours earlier you were surrounded by people who were on dates or spending time with their family. Now, you were left sitting alone and the only other person was Heeseung. Heeseung was a barista who worked at BH Cafe, the reason you liked being here on the days that he worked was because he never told you to leave when closing time was nearing. Instead, he’d start cleaning while singing a song or while dancing. You usually needed a comfortable place to study for exams or just do your homework which was what BH Cafe became for you ever since you found out of its existence. Heeseung let you stay past closing time and since you weren’t with anyone during the Christmas season, you were glad to have a place of comfort. You shut your laptop and packed up everything getting ready to leave when,

“Y/n,” you heard from a slight distance behind you. You were met with Heeseung who had a to-go cup in one hand and a bag in the other.

“Hey,” you answered. He handed you the cup and the bag,

“Take it,” he said.

“What’s it for?” you asked, unsure as to why he was giving you whatever it was that was in the bag and the cup.

“For you.” Well obviously if you’re handing it to me, you wanted to say with a roll of your eyes but instead,

“Thanks?” It was more of a question than a statement if anything but you weren’t exactly going to refuse a gift from someone. With a smile,

“Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” you replied as you made your way outside. On your way home, you took a sip of the drink Heeseung gave you and realized that it was your favorite drink. When you got home, the bag had a box full of BH Cafe desserts which you knew wasn’t exactly cheap. Smiling to yourself without realizing it, you took a bite of one of the cupcakes which surprisingly stayed undamaged. Now you had to get Heeseung a gift in return as a thank you.

[1.03.201X]

Since Christmas Eve, you hadn’t returned to BH Cafe because you visited your family for the New Year. While at your family’s place, you and a few of your cousins went to the mall to hangout. There, you bought a tie-dye shirt you thought would look good on Heeseung. Once you got to the cafe, Heeseung was at the register and greeted you with a smile.

“Your usual, y/n?” he asked.

“Mhm, also this is for you,” you said as you set the bag on the register.

“What’s it for?”

“For you,” you replied earning a light chuckle from him.

Throughout the rest of the year, you and Heeseung’s relationship of only knowing each other’s names turned into a friendship where the two of you would sometimes pull all-nighter’s at BH Cafe. Some days, he’d help you study for an upcoming test while other days you watched him perform for you. You could tell that Heeseung’s dream of becoming an idol was one he was completely serious about and you gladly voiced your support for him. When March came along, you noticed a slight shift in Heeseung.

[3.05.1X]

“You ok?” you asked, taking a sip of your drink as you glanced over to Heeseung who was sitting across from you. It was currently 1 am but you probably weren’t leaving anytime soon.

“I should be happy for my friends but if I’m being honest, I’m jealous,” he said.

“About what?”

“I’ve been training with a group that debuted today, well, yesterday technically,” he answered. You had heard of a group debuting, tomorrow x together, and their new songs were playing just earlier.

“You’ll get there, Heeseung. I know you will because you have the talent and drive.” To yourself, you made a note that you’d support him for however long the two of you would know each other.

[5.21.2X]

Since tomorrow x together’s debut, Heeseung only pushed himself harder when training and started performing in front of you more often. The late am air while Heeseung sang and you listened while studying with your favorite drink became moments that the two of you shared with feelings that couldn’t be replicated with anyone else. You and Heeseung weren’t exactly a thing but one thing started becoming clear.

You were starting to catch feelings, or maybe you already caught feelings but it was now that you realized it. You were at the cafe one day during lunch and Heeseung was on his lunch break so he sat with you.

“Y/n,” he said with a smile, unable to contain his excitement.

“What’s up?” you asked.  

“I think I’ll debut soon, I’m gonna be part of a show called i-land.”

“I-land?” you question. He explained everything about it, how it was a survival group where 7 guys would debut after global votes. You were excited for him, of course you were, but at the same time, you knew that this was probably one of the last few times that you’d see Heeseung before his entire life changed.

And you were right.

Before Heeseung embarked on his journey to i-land, the two of you continued your late nights up together but you were mentally preparing yourself for his absence in your life. When you watched Heeseung’s appearance on i-land, his outfit was one you didn’t expect. He was wearing the tie-dye shirt you gifted him on 1/03/1X. You supported him throughout the course of i-land and voted at him innumerable times when global voting came around. Surprisingly, he didn’t forget you and texted you while he could and wearing the shirt that had gotten a label as his “one outfit.” 

[2.14.2X]

It was the first Valentine’s Day after enhypen’s debut and you were at BH Cafe, going over notes for an upcoming test. You were surrounded by couples who were out on a date and found yourself missing Heeseung despite how the two of you weren’t a thing, it wasn’t wrong to miss someone’s presence was it? It was getting late, and was around 11 pm when people started clearing out of the cafe, and you were left to yourself. “Let Me In” started playing through the speakers and you were humming along when suddenly,

“Neeemo,” you heard someone sing. Looking up wide-eyed, you were met with Heeseung standing there with a smile. 

“Heeseung?” you asked despite his obvious presence. 

“I was hoping you’d be here.”

“You were, why?” 

“I know it’s kind of late, but it’s still technically Valentine’s Day so will you be my Valentine?” You sat there, blinking trying to process Heeseung’s words. At 11 pm on 2/14/2X, Lee Heeseung was asking you out?

“How would that even work, how would we even go on a date? Are you crazy?”“This, right here, is our date,” he said as he sat across from you. 

“You’re seriously saying that right now I’m on a Valentine’s date with Lee Heeseung?”

“Only if you want to be.” The two of you spent the rest of the night at BH Cafe, catching up with each other while settling back into the comfortable space that only Heeseung could give you and comfort you with.  

|❦ end of story, written by riri ❦|

other vday fics:

|jay| |jake| |sunghoon| |sunoo| |jungwon| |ni-ki|

other links:

|blog m.list| |just another fan (heeseung angst)| |im just a fan (heeseung angst)|

[bnhavibes]

Y/n goes out on a late-night run to get out some nervous energy and ends up running longer than expected. Since their still not tired they decided to call their best friend Shinso to ask if they can come over for a bit. You can decide from there, thank you b.

announcements!!

requests can take a while, i’ve decided to start writing a fic 🥰 but i haven’t chose who to pair with my OC so im going to have you vote in my asks!(or dm me on discord if u want to make certain requests too!

do you want reader insert with (y/n) or should we just name the OC? (side note: whats an alluring name?) <answer a for (y/n), b for (your suggestion).

should it be bxg, bxgxb, or gxgxb? <answer a, b or c>

who would you like to see in this pairing(s)? <answer a, Katsuki Bakugou, b, Shouto Todoroki, c, Izuku Midoriya, d, Ejirou Kirishima, e, Denki Kaminari, f, Momo Yayaorozu, g, Jirou Kyouka, h, Hitoshi Shinsou, i, League of Villains (insert up to 2 members unless you’ve picked a student or hero), j, any other options besides Endeavor, Aayoma, Tokoyami, Asui, Shigaraki, and anybody who’s personality i cannot portray lmfao)

Shinsou, Hitoshi x Reader

(request)

(NSFW) warning!

cussing, some heavy makeouts with descriptive characteristics

not actual penetration

but enough steam to keep it: moisy

College aged upUA! (so basically ua is a college lmao)

18+

this one is gonna be long since i pushed it off so far sorry bb😭

“Hey, you up?”

you: (typing) So I’ve been running for way longer than I thought, stuck thinking and overthinking about my life and I found myself by your apartment and wanted to stop by to get some advice? I know it’s pretty late but you’re always saying if you need me at 2am |

“Fuck, no, I can’t say that!” You growl in frustration before erasing the dumb text. Twiddling your thumbs above the screen as your hands laced the back of your device, you pace around, frantic about how you were gonna tell your old best friend that you were outside his apartment and desperately freezing. (it was like the middle of the night, and yet you were out in a crossed-back tank top, with a windbreaker and loose running shorts.

You and Shinsou have known each other for as long as you remember. You weren’t on good terms for a while; The first time he announced that he got his Quirk, you were out sick, and all of the kids in your class teased and picked on him. He essentially blamed you for not being there and defending him, but you guys didn’t see each other between the end of middle school and middle of high school. Now that you both go to UA, and are at the mercy of pros, you have to deal with working together for the sake of the citizens (even if you have bad blood between you). But you didn’t expect him to be so relieved when he saw you at school. And the two of you got along so well, it was like he was never even mad at you. He did bring it up, once, but he has only ever been nothing but kind to you when you started studying with him.

Then you started hanging out with him.

More and more.

More boundaries being pushed.

More times you’re together than not.

More things to study for? Hah, typical.

Then you’re having sleep overs.

Where you sleep in his bed.

...And he spoons you.

..........Weird.

‘Thats weird, right?’ You think to yourself the morning after. Nobody should be in the same bed with other people if they’re not together right? Shouldn’t it feel weird that you went to bed with another adult? That’s just your friend?

you: Are we just frien—

You stop yourself before even finishing that idiotic question, groaning in frustration. “What the hell do I say to him?” You tell your device more than yourself, at this point, just looking for answers.

New Message: Shinsou

Your eyes bulge out of your head and your hands almost drop your phone at the sudden vibration in your hand.

Shinsou: yeah, im just up doing dumb shit on my computer anyways

you: you mean like beating off? ewwww tmi Shinsou Hitoshi 🥴

Shinsou: fuck you (Y/f&l/N) 😂

Shinsou: if you want me to beat off before you get here, i can tho

you: i mean you’ll have enough time do it, i just so happen to be walking in to your apartment complex 😂😉

You giggle as you head up the stairs to his small student apartment, knowing the way all too well by memory.

Shinsou: wtf? 🤨 why were you all the way over here.

you: i couldn’t sleep, so i decided to go jogging

you: turns out i was drugged

you: kidnapped

you: and returned nearby because i kept annoying the shit out of the dudes

Shinsou: figures. 💀

Shinsou: i would’ve dropped you off at the loony bin tho

Shinsou: we’d probably both have to sign in tbh😂😂

you: 😒 come open the door ya punk.

The warm smell of freshly cooked— or reheated— pizza filled your nostrils as the door was opened for you. Stepping in and removing your shoes, you glance around to see if anyone else was over.

“Sorry, I know I said I would clean it.” He mumbles, thinking you were looking at the mess of a living area he made this morning. (because building forts is cool, okay?)

“No, you’re good,” You chuckle as you remove your jacket, “it IS your house anyways. Not like i can tell you what to do.”

A pregnant pause filled the air before you realized he had went and disappeared to his room and you were still by the door. Shaking your head at yourself, you follow him, building up courage to confront last night’s cuddle thing.

When you got to his room, however, he had laid out a towel on his bed and was looking through his closet. You dropped your shoes and looked around to seethat his shower was running, and there was the hair brush you lost on his desk (with a sticky note that said ‘Text (y/n) you found it. Reminder #251’). There was still rummaging behind you when you look at him in the reflection of his computer.

When he pulls out a shirt of his that you always compliment him in.

And a pair of exercise shorts that he hadn’t worn yet.

You blush when you realize he wants you to shower in his bathroom.

And then put his clothes on.

“Hit—Hitoshi-san?” You questioningly squeak, squeezing your eyes shut once you hear how cringey it sounded to be calling him by his last name again.

He notices the change, though, blinking softly at you with a shirt in hand. “I—... I just thought you, m-maybe wanted to shower. Cause you’re sweaty and stuff. Plus you might be able to fall asleep better.” He defended himself, putting his hands up.

“N-No, I know, I just...” You face him, avoiding his gaze. “I have to.. um...” You couldn’t do it. You were backing out.

“Tell me, what’s on your mind? I’m here if you need to talk.” He says, trying to catch your eyes as he steps toward you.

“Hito-sssh-hitt. Ugh! Why is it so hard to tell you!?” You curse your tongue for letting you sputter so embarrassingly in front of your best friend. You pace toward Shinsou, but turn back, groaning as you face palm repeatedly.

“You’re acting weird, (Y/N). Since when were you calling me by my last name, you know you can call me pretty much anything else. I swear if you say some dumb shit about another prank I’m gonna—

“Are we just friends or what?” You spat, slapping a hand over your mouth as soon as the words slipped out.

“What?”

The look on his face was so.... precious?

His eyes widened a little, mouth agape with loss, and shoulders cringing a bit at his sudden nerves. You removed your hand slowly but turned it into a fist as quick as it landed at your side.

“Y-You heard me. Are we just friends or, is there m-more... between us..” You trailed off, not noticing how close you’d gotten yourself when he was talking to you.

“More?” He asked, his voice seeming to be hung on to a thin string of hope. He inhales sharply before speaking softly:

“I— I thought... Well, to be honest these last few months with you have been awesome b—

“—But you don’t have feelings for me right?” You interrupted him, looking up into (what felt like to him) his soul.

So it was just you? You started to leave, his hesitation enough of an answer for you.

“No, I- Hey, wait!” He was confused, the poor boy, as to how you took his words. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s okay, Hitoshi-san.” You say, smiling back at him with a hand on his bedroom door knob.

“S-Seriously! I— Uhm..” He stopped you from opening the door with his hand over yours, pushing the door closed all together when he tripped over a loose shoe and against your body.

You gasp at the sudden fall, but can’t help but worry about him.

“Are you okay?” You ask, helping him stand up straight. “Sorry about the shoe— Mmmph?”

He kissed you so softly, you’d think it was a ghost. His hands cupped around your head, fingers laced through your hair as they almost support your movements. Instinctively you’re kissing him back, letting his body tower over yours and press you harder against the wall. His lips were like soft pillows, and his tongue flicked at your lips, teeth, and tongue so well that you couldn’t help but pull him in closer and closer; the longsleeved sweatshirt he had on was bunching up from your grasps, and you could feel his skin just barely grazing your own. You’re subconsciously tracing designs on his sides with your fingers, slowly running them along the hem as it lifts up when the feeling of heat in your stomach (and face) brings you back to your realitive plain of existence.

You’re currently making out with your best friend.

And you can feel how much he likes it.

“Sh-Shinsou, I—I’m sweaty.” You say, pushing him back a little.

He raises an eyebrow at you. (is that really gonna stop him? shusoskfkdjd)

Then he’s back on your lips, picking your legs off the ground and pulling them around his hips; pressing you back into the wall and grinding himself so deliciously against you. Soft moans escape your lips as his own travel to your neck, hands creeping up your shirt this time. Instead of touching you, however, he only lightly grazes your skin with the lads of his fingers up your torso until hes able to lift your shirt off (with help from you of course). Once it’s off, he’s back at your neck, leaving sloppy kisses before grabbing you by the ass and walking to his bathroom.

He set you down on the sink counter, ridding himself of his shirt and lowering himself down to his knees; His hands at your hips, fingers teasingly looping the elastic waistband of your shorts. He looks up at you with those eyes— The ones that ignite the flame in your core, those piercing, desperate eyes. He’s leaning his head into your thigh as he looks up at you, a smile smirk shows that your reaction to his wherebouts must be entertaining to him. You can feel your core tremble as he lays kisses on your legs, occasionally taking a nice long drag of his tongue along the sensitive skin of your inner thighs and stopping at the hem of your shorts. Letting a tiny gasp slip, you place your hands on his to stop him. He looks up at you for a second, but his worries wash away when he sees your hardened nipples and flush skin.

“You look so cute like this.” His voice breaks the tension in the air before he kisses your thighs again. “So flustered and confused.” He bites down gently on your skin, causing you to stifle a moan. He sucks slowly, his teeth just grazing you enough to leave a mark, but not enough to make it hurt. You gasp when his head moves to your centre, the heat of his exhales sending chills up your spine.

“You’re just... so naughty, aren’t you (Y/N)?” He whispers onto the thin cloth before laying his head back down on your leg, pulling your shorts down painfully slow. “You’re absolutely soaked, huh? I can smell you from here.” He looks at you, cueing you to lift your legs up, pulling your shorts off completely before returning to his position between your legs.

“No panties, huh?” He chuckles, scooting you to the edge of the counter by your hips. “You’re so god damn beautiful.” He whispers on your lips, your mouth just slacked enough for him to take advantage of, slipping his tongue straight past your teeth and directly brushing against your tongue. You feel yourself pooling over the counter, soaking against his boxers when he starts to take them off.

“Tell me what you wanna do.” He says against your collarbone, fingers still looped around the edges of his boxers.

“I, I need to sh-shower.” You squeak.

“You’re so fucking cute,” He says after chuckling. “I meant me, kitten, now do you want me or not?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“I — I want you, Shinsou. I want all of you.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, (Y/N).”

“I’m not, I promise— but, ugh, can you just fuck me already?”

The boldness of your words cracks a shit eating grin you only knew from that class 1-A asshat onto Shinsou’s face.

“Get in the fucking shower then.”

[ryncorrect]

university!au: day6 wonpil

first of all i will definitely do poorly on this because,,, you know,,,,, he’s so precious and i don’t think my words can do it justice ksbdjshs i wanna make the sweetest scenario for him

but i suck at sweet stuffs smh bye

name: kim wonpil

major: modeling (i still cant believe this is an actual major im living under a rock smh)

other activities: member of music club, keyboardist and main singer of the university band

jae calls him “the backbone” of the music club because wonpil participates in all club events, he always takes part in weekly activities, and he actively finds new recruits

jae on the other side pops up once in a blue moon to play guitar, do shit, then disappears

don’t worry ever since jae starts dating the newest member who happens to be wonpil’s bestie he’s more active now

honestly more than half of their club members joined because wonpil made them to

he’s persuasive and convincing okay you would end up eating rocks if he told you it’s good for health

but he’ll never do that ever bc he speaks no lies okay he’s like the sweetest person in the earth

he’ll cry by the sight of cute puppies, do i have to explain further

wonpil was nominated as the club president but the other candidate park sungjin who’s also his roommate beat him by one vote

well he prefers to be just regular member anyway, that way he can still do a lot of things for the club but with less responsibilities

you see he’s really nice, he’s caring, he’s hardworking, he’s confident, he knows how to present himself and he’s hella attractive

he’s taking modeling as his major do i make myself clear

everyone LOVES wonpil

and i mean sometimes it’s just not only a platonic love but like an “i will give you my heart and soul please marry me” love

too bad he’s oblivious af

someone: i,, i like you wonpil,,,, d-do you like me too?

wonpil: of course!!! you’re my friend!!!!!!!!!

someone: ….oh ok

accidental friendzone

but you know he doesnt actually mean to do that, he just doesn’t think anyone likes him like that

moreover he already has someone in mind

aka the coffee shop girl

aka Y O U

yeah hello guys i am: still lame

the first time he met you was on exams week

everyone was busy and stressed af and running on almost no sleep

except maybe wonpil

not because he was fully prepared but more like he forgot exams week was coming until the day before so he just decided to wing it lol whatevs

anyway his roommate aka sungjin asked him if he could go buy him a double shot espresso so wonpil did

he rarely visits coffee shops tbh and when he does he always orders vanilla latte with extra syrup for himself

wonpil seems to be that kinda person who tries to enjoy coffee but can’t handle the bitter taste its so frickin cute and trust me you think so too

so anywayyyy yeah he never saw you, aka the new barista, before

it was ur first work day as well btw and he was ur first customer

he didn’t know why but watching you being nervous made him nervous too

just imagine a stuttering costumer and a stuttering barista

everyone watched you two with anxiety

but even when wonpil was a nervous wreck he didn’t forget to smile and before leaving he said to you, “thanks, have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!”

honest to god it made your whole day better

anyway let’s move on to the second meeting

he comes back and this time he orders a vanilla latte, but being the clumsy ass that you are, you slightly confused his order

he receives his coffee and takes a sip and he freezes

you ask whats wrong and he’s like,, uh nothing,, the coffee is just,,,, kinda bitter today??? ha,,,hahahhaha,,,,

you stand still

wait

he asked for EXTRA SYRUP not EXTRA SHOT you dumbfucc

you offer to make him a new one and he refuses saying it’s fine!!! but you still feel bad so you insist but he’s like no!!! i gotta stay awake anyway i have an important quiz today i have to study! by the way uhhhh i’ve never seen you around until recently???

you introduce yourself and he introduce himself blablabla it’s awkward and your palms keep sweating for some reason

before wonpil left, he didn’t forget to say “have a great day!! i’ll see you around then!!!”

he’s so sweet uwu

seeing him and making him his vanilla latte (extra syrup) is one of the best parts of your job tbh

and he visits every single time you’re working which makes it better

why is his smile so adorable what the fuck

and there’s something about the way he walks that keeps you looking i mean boiiiii does he know how to present himself holy shit

that feeling when you see someone so beautiful you want to cry

the more you see him the more you want to know about him

what major is he in? what is he usually do outside the class? what kind of person is he? does he have a lot of friends? what’s his hobby? stuffs like that

too bad he always comes when it’s busy at the cafe so you can’t talk too much

neither he ever tries to initiate a conversation with you except his usual “hello! how are you today?” and “thank you, you make the best coffee! have a nice day!! see you!!!”

let’s admit it you highkey have a crush on him and EVERYONE knows

wELL it’s because you always wear that expression like "goddammit why must kim wonpil be so cute if he ain’t gonna ask me on a date” whenever you watch his back as he leaves the cafe

and EVERYONE but YOU knows wonpil’s so into you

whenever someone says something like “just ask him for his number he’ll definitely give it to you” you’re like “wtf nO that’s creepy and he won’t!! he doesn’t even know me!!!”

“he literally only comes when it’s your shift and he always makes sure you’re the one taking his order you oblivious dumbass”

“it’s just a coincidence”

“…..yeah whatever”

but they’re right wonpil’s crushing on you hard

at this point sungjin can even draw a portrait of you although he hasn’t actually met you before

that’s how much wonpil talks about you

from your whole adorable appearance to how cute your little cough is, or how he adores your little smile and the sparks in your eyes when he compliments your coffee, or he’ll describe your apron what the fuck and how he thinks your look so good in white and blue

sungjin’s so done with him

“just ask her out you stalker”

“nO I CAN’T!!! SHE’LL THINK IM CREEPY!!! SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ME”

“well i bet she remembers your face by now since you always drop by when she’s there”

“but she meets a lot of people everyday there’s NO WAY she can remember me”

you see the problem now?

then one day jae decides to play matchmaker

by “playing matchmaker” i mean he follows wonpil to the cafe and straight up tells you, in front of wonpil’s face and everyone there, “yo this friend of mine wants to take you on a date and he wonders if you’re interested”

you are: blushing

wonpil is: dead pale

you: o-oh… i’m–

wonpil: yO HE’S JUST JOKING HAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY oH My gOd jAE LET’S GO

he drags his tall friend aka jae out of the cafe and since then he never visits again :(

im sad now ugh i told you i suck at sweet stuffs like this

fast forward it’s summer and the university wonpil’s attending is holding a summer festival that’s open for public

well,,,,, you decide to go and you ask some of your friends to tag along

you’re not sure what you’re hoping; maybe you just want to see how the place wonpil’s studying at looks like, or maybe you do wish to meet him by accident or something yanno like a drama

whatever

you promised yourself that if you don’t see him today, you’ll get over him

but if you do see him, you will ask. him. out.

well jokes on you babe he’s there performing on the stage with the band

he’s,,, he’s singing,,, and playing keyboard,,,, omg his voice

as you already know im uncreative soooo by impossible coincidence somehow his eyes spot you in the crowd

btw i imagine them singing Pouring but i think you can pick any songs you like

he’s so taken aback that one second he’s singing and the next second he sees you and his eyes widen and he’s like “I’m falling for–hUH? why are you here??” to the microphone

don’t worry the others cover for his mistake while trying not to laugh

everyone laughs too while looking around to find the person whom wonpil sees

you’re embarrassed as fuck you want to curl up and hide forever

but your so-called-friends don’t let you get away that easy okay it’s your only chance

dw dude wonpil feels the same he wants to immediately get off the stage and die

but sungjin will literally kill wonpil in his sleep if he doesn’t do anything it’s now or never

poor boi has had enough of this pining shit

so after the band performance wonpil has no choice but to approach you

“h-hey! so you watched our stage!”

“y-yeah! it was great!! didn’t know you can sing so well”

“h-haha thanks”

“y-you’re welcome”

silence

more silence

wonpil clears his throat and, “so…”

you blink fast, “yeah…?”

“um uhhh do you wanna see around? i can take you”

“oH of course”

What Am I Even Writing Anymore

well remember your promise earlier? about asking him out?? no???

is it too late to chicken out and forget the whole thing now

you barely know each other it’s so awkward and he looks so fine today and you really don’t wanna push him even further now but if you hesitate longer who knows someone else will ask him first and just the thought alone breaks your heart a little bit

so it’s time to grow a pair and take risks cmon dude you can do this

one

two

“anywaysijustwonderifyou'refreenextsaturday?”

wait

it was!! not!!! your voice!!!!

“huh?”

wonpil clears his throat and repeats slower, “i just wonder if you’re uhhhh free next saturday?”

o shit

o fUck YeAH

you cough a bit before answering, “y-y-yeah i guess??”

“ok um i like, have two tickets for movie if you want to come with me”

that’s like the lamest invitation and you yourself gotta admit that lmao

but oh kim wonpil,, dear,,,, there’s no way i would say no

so you two go on a date

or “casual outing” as you two call it

but everyone knows it’s a date okay even though you two didn’t have any skinskip oops

it’s okay it takes a bit of time but you’ll get there

i mean, since then you two go out together almost every weekend so ye it won’t be that long until the awkwardness wears off

wonpil just cherish you so much he’s afraid he’ll scare you or hurt your feeling by accident so he never boldly initiates anything

the first time you two finally holding hands is when you two go skating, and that’s just because you two are so bad at that

gotta hold each other so you won’t keep falling aye romance

you don’t know this but trust me wonpil talks about it for days sungjin almost decides to move out

he’s still insisting it’s not a date tho

“you know what, i can already imagine you two in like 10 years, standing at the altar and be like, do you marry me as a friend or what? unclear”

“do you think we’ll get married?????”

“oh dear god”

but yeah

you two will get there

somehow

just take your sweet time and give wonpil all the love in the world i beg you

that’s it YAY i think imma work on sungjin’s next wish me luck im running out of lame cliche ideas now lol bye

[raccoonpatriotism]

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Random, Useless Headcanons | Accepting

i like how i keep labeling this meme as “accepting” when i have…. 260 of these right here.

1: Has he driven a car before? Yes. Should he be allowed to keep driving? No.

2: You know that “I’m washing me and my clothes!” vine? That’s Jane. It’s efficient.

3: If you gave him Cat Food he’d say it’s the best thing he’d ever tasted.

4: Before going to Poland to serve his time, he hired a sex worker. Her touch would be the last non-violent physical contact he would feel for the next 9 or so years.

5: 

6: He donates a healthy sum of his paychecks to wild animal and veteran charities. 

7: Jane’s ‘friendship’ with Merasmus is the longest relationship he’s ever held.

8: Jane doesn’t believe in the number 8.

9: He doesn’t have any titty mags, but he does have tasteful pin-up for the inside of his locker.

10: He’s an excellent swimmer - but will sometimes forget to hold his breath. 

11: Getting Jane to imprint on you like a baby bird is really easy. Be strong, be patriotic, be funny, be determined. 

12: He trusts everything he’s told from someone he views as a friend.

13: He’s been on BLU before - it was brief.., a WAR! got started and ended. A few years went by and he was balanced to RED

14: Continuation of 13, it was… very easy to get him to believe he was always on RED team.

15: He loves fighting robots - but nothing compares to the feeling of a neck snapping in his hands.

16: He taught himself how to use every weapon he came across in Poland - it took a few years before he ran into a rocket launcher…. His life was changed from that moment onward.

17: His knowledge of the US military comes from tv and stories from veteran home he was forced to work at through his older years at the orphanage. (Outdated or complete bullshit.)

18: The liveliness of America is just one of the innumerable reasons he loves the country. Even things he hates (like.. war protesters/hippies) have this determination in them that makes him proud.

19: He’ll pick ear wax out of his ear, sniff it, grimace, and happily hold the finger out to somebody near him.

20: He only wants the best for you.

21: Getting him to realize he’s actually ended civilian’s lives is a conversation that would take over an hour. His brain has the wildest, irrationally rational excuses ever. (”Officer Miss Pauling, what I am about to say will SHOCK you; I was framed” will never make me not lose my mind. ilove him)

22: His moral compass is, admittedly, terrible, but he genuinely wants the best for people in the world.

23: Helping people, serving his country, that’s his goal. That all he wants out of life. He’s a cog in the machine of war and he loves it.

24: Consequences don’t exist in Jane’s world.

25: He’s so fucking bisexual. This headcanon is not useless at all.

26: Jane snores like a chainsaw - and will then be absolutely silent for spaces of minutes.

27: He never covers his face when he sneezes.

28: He’s very touchy feely - A way to make up for what he so clearly craves.

29: But god this man wants to be touched.

30: As much as Jane holds back on admitting to weakness, he’s also just a genuinely honest guy so simple prodding usually gets him to spill.

31: Jane has never purposefully manipulated someone in his life.

32: He’s only ever seen one movie. Well, more like registered he always zones out at some point. Sometimes starting the movie in a day dream and zoning back in to catch the ending. The movie he’s fully seen was watched through 3 separate sessions.

33: War films, what he does catch, always make him cry.

34: With everyone he meets; Jane immediately thinks of two things. How to kill them. And what to say when holding their guts into their dying corpse and crying to the sky.

35: He has no idea he’s beautiful.

36: Jane doesn’t have a self-effacing bone in his body.

37: He chews with his mouth open, and speaks with his mouth full. He’ll also snap at someone else to stop talking with their mouth full, it’s disrespectful.

38: Jane had a dream where he beat Communism and thought it was true for a whole year.

39: He’s not dumb on purpose. He has nothing to gain by making people think he’s an idiot, as far as he’s concerned. He acts like himself 24/7

40: Jane invented that song Fifty Nifty United States song that’s song in elementary schools.

41: You know those kiddie leashes? You could put one of those on Jane and he wouldn’t be, like, “Okay.” Try and run off and be like “What contraption is holding me here?!?!?!”

42: The answer to life, the universe, and everything is American Apple Pie

43: i just realized im gonna get to answer a headcanon 69 and got excited. UHH jane likes the color red.

44: Jane likes the color blue.

45: Jane likes the color white.

46: Jane loves all skin colors, anybody can be American.

47: Has he retained any American history? Haha. Ha. No.

48: Jane was taken out of elementary school for bad behavior, lack of attention, and general ruckus.

49: His orphanage never tried to send him back to any schooling. 

50: Jane was born July 4th, he doesn’t know that, despite claiming it.

51: He’s not an amnesiac - he’s never had a strong sense for long-term memories. 

52: God, he loves bread.

53: And also he loves taking everything Engineer says literally. He’s such a wise American.

54: Jane would absolute trollface and say “Problem?”

55: He would never say a slur.

56: Jane does not use fuck as a curse ever. He’ll say it, but like, to mean, y’know.

57: He’s a follower, don’t tell him that. He’ll get offended. 

58: Jane is convinced the President is the most powerful being in the world, and is also granted special powers.

59: Jane is progressive, baybee. He thinks dogs should vote!!

60: UNLESS IT HAS TO DO WITH WAR. Then he’s, like, a total bootlicker.

61: He’ll beat up racists in bars.

62: Jane really came alive during Grey Mann’s first robot attacks - for the second time he felt like he was protecting America and not some Very Important American Gravel. 

63: If Jane ever got sentenced to prison, he’d just serve his time.

64: He has Lawyer Powers given to him by magic, and he is not afraid to use them.

65: Besides Scout, he has represented himself, Lt. Bites, and the state of Tennessee in court.

66: He was a bad roommate, he genuinely thought Merasmus was an even worse roommate. 

67: Extreme Cold is a surefire way to trigger his PTSD. He doesn’t act all that different verbally, but he becomes entire still. Not even moving to shiver. It’s like he automatically transfers to late stage hypothermia.

68: Jane may have never played baseball, but he’s briefly been on a bowling team.

69: ayyyyy. Jane always returns the favor, if ya know what i mean.

70: I can’t tell you how much he can lift because I know nothing about fitness, but it’s a lot. And it’s impressive. 

71: Jane practices unsafe workout routines! It’s a miracle lifting without a spotter hasn’t killed him yet.

72: He makes up for his genuine stupidity with Pure Luck.

73: He’ll kill, he’ll maim, but he won’t assault. 

74: Jane’s favorite chocolate is Hershey’s.

75: He’s convinced Milton Hershey, founder of Hershey’s Chocolate, was a President despite him being alive in Jane’s lifetime.

76: Jane isn’t afraid of gay thoughts, never payed attention to period typical homophobia going on around him therefor never got a chance to develop it.

77: Jane would totally be the type of guy to see one of those Fireman Calendars and zone out staring at some dudes pecs and someone asks him if he’s okay and he’s like “I’m ogay.”

78: It’s a miracle, the first time Jane rocket jumped, his legs weren’t blown off. He was injured from the fall, surprised he’d gotten air at all. It was an accident and, while he’d never go to recreate it during his time in Poland, when he’d gotten hooked up to respawn and he saw all the high perches, the trick reoccured to him.

79: He loved Tavish so much

80: He was born in Tennessee, although he grew up in Wisconsin.

81: He’ll make odd little sounds - aborted sentences, thoughts lost to the depths of his brain. You can point them out and he’ll have no idea what you’re talking about.

82: He could have a possum mixed in with his raccoons and think it’s a raccoon.

83: He takes his Ranger Job very seriously. Just as serious as he does all his jobs. (So, you know. Not… very.) He is very enthusiastic at least!

84: He’s not empathetic at all, however energies at Large in a room really affect him. Chances are, if everyone’s in good favor, he’ll be really happy and relaxed - even if previously grumpy.

85: Jane can be really grumpy, that’s when his drill sergeant personality shines through - more often than not, he’s just a good natured loud patriot rolling with the punches of life.

86: He believes in the Judeo-Christian God, but also… believes the president is stronger than God? Sometimes? Depends on the situation. What is blasphemy haha?!?

87: Jane always wanted a puppy - meeting Bites, future Lieutenant, was like a dream come true to him.

88: Plus, he’d always liked raccoons - often responsible for tipping over dumpsters at his orphanage to help the little critters.

89: Jane can and will eat out of the garbage if not stopped.

90: He’s very passionate and strict about what he knows are fact (the issue is, facts can change pretty easily in jane’s head.

91: Good thing he has a helmet because Jane’s puppy-dog eyes are the sort that are clearly un-practiced and unintentional and thus made all the more soul-wrenching. 

92: He’s always surprised by doorbells.

93: Jane would never smoke weed of his own volition, but under the influence, everything would make So Much Sense to him.

94: I’m talking the wildest stoner sayings, that always are so structurally sound it’s scary.

95: This man loves cashews.

96: “Mm crunchy things.. good.” - Shared thought by Jane and Lt. Bites.

97: Lt. Bites likes to curl up on Jane’s stomach when he’s sleeping. Jane often wakes up with his face covered in scratches and fur in his mouth. Much like the Soldier, the Lieutenant isn’t quite a sound sleeper.

98: Fuck, like, he loves cashews so much? The texture is amazing.

99: Jane has no illegitimate or legitimate children.

100: Jane loves his team almost as much as he loves America.

101: IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR scroll back up and read everything, LOSER otherwise… wow………you love soldier. me too…… 

CONTINUED HERE

[blaperile]

Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 4

[333kaylynn]

27 Roses / e.d.

Y/n goes to a mental hospital and Ethan visits her every day until he stops for 27 days. “27 roses for every day I missed.”

Request: nahhh fam

Word Count: 2609

uhhh i apologize for continously going from 1st and 2nd person point of view. 

I’m tagging a few people, sorry if you didn’t wanna be tagged!

@bouttogolinkurbitch

@dimply-dolan

@dolayn

@grayson-dolans-dangly-earring

@kara-dolan

@nomoregraydays

@bb-dolan

@olivia-m-dolan

@olderdolan

@justanotherdolanblog

@profanitydolan

okay im done tagging, please enjoy this bc its not the best but i meannnn

///

Day One was possibly the worst. I didn’t know anyone, nor did anyone know me. I didn’t want to sit through this stupid therapy session we had to do, but of course, I was forced. They allowed me to bring someone for the first group therapy, so I wasn’t uncomfortable. Ethan stayed with me throughout the whole thing. 

Everyone in my part of the hospital was between the ages 13-17. One girl was there for trying to commit suicide, I found out her name was Amber, and she’s 14. Elisia, 16, had gone for anger management issues. Tyler, same age as me, was there for drug use. 

To be honest, I didn’t think I belonged here. I mean, in the back of my mind, I knew knew I did, but I just felt out of the loop at the moment. Everyone already knew eachother, and I just got there. 

Ethan had to leave after therapy, and it hurt me to see him go. “I promise I’ll visit you everyday. Only 365 days.” Ethan assured you you would be okay. 

“I’m gonna miss you E.” I say, pulling him in for a hug and a kiss. 

“Okay, visiting hours are over. All friends and family must leave.” The announcement went through the speakers, and I walked Ethan to the door. 

Day Two was slightly better, I started talking to a few people, Olivia, Tyler, and Faith. Olivia and Tyler were both 17, and Faith was 16. 

Tyler had been in here for about a year before this, Olivia about 7 months, and Faith for only about 2 months before I had come. 

All we really did today was sit around and get to know eachother. We played random card games, ate, and just sat around mainly. 

Ethan came and visited again, during visiting hours. Just like he said he would.  It brought joy to my eyes too see him. 

3 to 5 o clock, every day. Those were visiting hours. 3 pm to 5 pm. 

“Hey babe. I’m here, just like I said I would be.” Ethan came through the glass doors that led to the main room of the facility. He stood in the same spot for a minute and looked around until he saw you at a table with Tyler, Faith, and Olivia. 

You stood up from the table and pulled him in for a hug. You ran your small, yet nimble fingers through his ruffled up hair, probably caused by Grayson. 

“How’s your mom doing?” You ask, pushing him off of you but still holding onto him. Ethan laughed and looked at you, answering softly, “You just saw her yesterday, y/n. Right before we came here.”

“I know, E. But hey, I have to ask how my second mom is doing. You know I do.” 

Your fingers went up and through his hair again. He smiled again and said, “I know, I know. She’s doing great. She said she might visit you on Sunday, because that’s her only day off from work. My dad might come too, and Cameron.” 

You smiled and thought of the entire Dolan family seeing you here, which brought your face to a frown. 

You didn’t want to seem weak around them. You knew they already knew you were here, but they didn’t see you here yet. It was scary, the thought of them seeing you like this. 

Maybe they’d think you weren’t good enough for Ethan. They’d make Ethan stop seeing you. You couldn’t stand the thought of that. You shook your head and looked back up at Ethan. 

He could tell something was off about you for that minute. Your troubled past caused you to space out from time to time, and it probably wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. 

“You okay?” Ethan asks, resting his hand on your shoulder and rubbing it for a minute before bringing it back down. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay.” You say, smiling at him and sitting back down at the table, “These are my new friends. Ethan, Tyler. Tyler, Ethan. Olivia, Ethan. Ethan, Olivia. Faith, Ethan. Ethan, Faith.” 

You took your time introducing everyone and after your introduction, Ethan immediately went into a conversation, like the social butterfly he is. 

Tyler and Ethan had a pretty intense conversation about Tyler’s life. Ethan wanted to know more about why people choose to do drugs. In his mind, there are so many things you can do to make yourself happy besides drugs. But in Tyler’s, it’s the only thing that made him happy. 

You, Faith, and Olivia were doing an even intenser range of things. Playing a game of Skip-Bo. It happened to be your favorite game since you were about 7, your grandma being the one to start your love for the game. 

Now, at the age of 17, your love still hasn’t stopped. 

“Hey, babe, I only have 30 minutes left.” Ethan says, scooting closer to your and whispering the words in your ear as you lie down a number 2 card. 

“Do you and Tyler want to join our game?” You ask, already starting to hand the two of the boys' cards. 

Day 29. It’s almost been your first month since you’ve started here. Ethan still came every day, just as he promised. 

It was now 8 pm, meaning you had 2 hours before lights out. Everyone from ages 13-15 were required to go to sleep by nine, and everyone ages 16 and 17 were allowed to stay awake until 10 if they wanted to. 

Every Thursday they put on “movie night” where the kids got to vote on a movie and watch it together with popcorn and blankets. The movie had to be Pg 13, due to the fact some of the kids could get triggered by certain things showed on R rated movies. 

You couldn't begin to imagine the things that could cause an outburst in this place. In the past 24 hours, we've had three emotional outbursts.

"Michael, sweetie. Calm down." Mrs. DeGram said as Ms. Weiss held him down due to his frustration.

Michael's mom hadn't shown up to visiting hours, but Michael was determined she'd show up.

"No! My mom will be here, she's just running late!" Michael screamed, pushing away from Ms. Weiss. Ms. Weiss got ahold of him again and held him down gently in order to calm him down.

"Michael, you need some food and some rest. Come with me." Mrs. DeGram says, holding Michael's hand as she pulls him down the small hallway that led to the dining area, where a few of the kids were seated.

Michael's mom came today, she sat and explained to him that his younger sister, Gabriella, was feeling sick last night so they brought her to see a doctor.

Faith also had a panic attack. Her father, whom she hadn't seen in ages, decided last night would be the perfect time to see her.

Faith had to be pulled away from the tall brown headed man that sat ahead of her after she screamed and clawed at him as she called him a "dirty cheating bastard"

Olivia held her closely as she shook from under her arm, whispering things to her to calm her down as her father was kicked off of the premises.

Gabe, the newest member of the facility, was having major drug withdrawals. Him and Tyler began talking about what made them start doing drugs, which seemed to have calmed Gabe down a bit.

Gabe and Tyler began laughing about their first time trying ecstasy, as me, Olivia, and Faith were playing yet another game of skip-bo.

Day 121, about 4 months in. Ethan still came to visit everyday. Seeing his tall body walk through the big glass doors, opening his arms for the hug you greeted him with every day. 

“Y/n, baby. I’ve missed you.” Ethan states as he pulls you back in for a hug, his grip beginning to get tighter. 

“Dude, I was actually just so happy when I did it. I just wanted to do everything I’ve ever wanted right then and there.” Tyler began telling Gabe, the two of them still talking about ecstasy. 

“Are they talking about drugs?” Ethan says, looking at the two of them and back at you. 

You smiled at him and gripped onto his arms, nodding your head, “Yeah, ecstasy I think.” 

Ethan just nods and the two of you take a seat, joining in on the conversation Faith and Olivia were having. Faith was laughing at some joke Ethan had made, while you and Olivia were talking more about family life and other random things. 

Olivia’s mom passed from cancer a few years back, that’s what initially started her depression. Her dad took a tough road when it happened as well, but the two of them stuck together through it all. He visits her every Monday, Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday. The other days he has to work late. 

You turned to Ethan and laughed at some joke he made once again, causing him to grin and pull you in for another hug. You continued to laugh as you thought more about it. The joke wasn’t that funny, it was just some dad joke he probably saw on a popsicle stick before coming here. 

The next hour went by pretty quick, meaning Ethan would have to leave in the next few minutes. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” You ask, hugging Ethan again and kissing him before he had to go. 

“Of course you will y/n. I wouldn’t forget.” Ethan says, holding you closely as your head rested on his shoulder. 

The next few months were basically the same, a few of the kids getting out and a few being transferred to the adult facility due to birthdays and being officially 18. 

It was now March 17th. Meaning I had about 3 more months before I was officially out of this place. They told me I would have to stay in the adult facility for a few days because I joined only 5 days after my 17th birthday, so I would turn 18 before they could legally let me out. 

Eventually, 3 o clock rolled around. I sat at the normal table I did while I waited for Ethan to show up. 

4 pm and he still wasn’t here. Maybe he had something come up. You didn’t want to worry too much, but in the back of your head you were extremely scared. 

“y/n, sweetie. He’ll be here tomorrow, just ignore it okay? I’m sure everything is fine.” Olivia said, pulling me in for a hug. Faith joined in soon after, which eventually led to a group hug with Me, Olivia, Faith, Gabe, and Tyler. The four of them all knew how much Ethan meant to me and how worried I was when he hadn’t shown up for today's visit. 

Soon enough, the next day rolled around. 

Ethan wasn’t here for this visiting either. My mind seemed to be a jumbled up mess at the time, my anxiety kicking in. 

Ethan had to show up, I know he did. He wouldn’t be late unless something bad happened. It wasn’t like him to do that. 

The next 2 weeks went by slowly, each day getting more painful. Ethan still hadn’t been there. You did everything in your power to ignore it but as the days went on you seemed to have just gotten more worried and more hurt. 

27 days later. Ethan hadn’t been there. You went over to the nurses office, where you asked Ms. Weiss if you could talk to her for a minute. 

“Of course y/n. What do you need dear?” Ms. Weiss said, allowing you to come into her office. You smile at her politeness and take a seat before asking, “Can you take Ethan Dolan’s name off of the visiting list?” 

She simply gives you a “is everything alright” look and then nods before going onto her computer to delete his name from the visiting list. “Would you like to continue receiving letters from him?” 

You nod and say that it’s okay if she kept that, maybe he would be able to explain himself. 

As you leave Ms. Weiss room, Faith runs up to you and pulls you over to where Olivia and Tyler were sitting, Tyler yelling at Olivia for an unknown reason. 

“Faith, what’s going on?” You ask, whisper-yelling into her ear. She shrugs and responds with, “I think something Olivia said upset Tyler. I don’t know what! Please help.” 

You nod at Faith and pull her in for a hug before telling her to go get one of the nurses to separate the two. 

The nurse comes back and pulls the two away from eachother and brings Tyler over to another area where Gabe was seated. You and Olivia talked about what happened and Faith sat in silence for the rest of the day, probably shaken up by two of her closest friends here getting into such a big fight. 

A fight between them wasn’t a very common thing, most of the time everything was nice and dandy. 

1 week later. Ethan had tried to show up his 28th day, you saw him. But the nurse waved him off and after a bit of arguing, he left. 

“y/n. These are for you.” Mrs. DeGram says, handing you a basket filled with roses. You look at it for a minute, confused as to who would send you so many roses. You turn it and see an envelope, which eases your confusion for a minute. 

Y/n, the envelope said very large across the top. It was clearly Ethan’s handwriting. You ripped the envelope open and started reading. 

“Y/n. I just want to begin and say how sorry I am. I skipped the past 27 days because I needed time to think. It hurt me to see you like this and I kept on my tough guy face for you. But I couldn’t do it anymore and I didn’t want you to see me like that. I didn’t want you to worry. And I know you’re angry with me. But please, please put my name back on the list so I can talk to you. I miss you.  -E”

You were still a bit angry, but you couldn’t be mad at him for too long. You walked to Ms. Weiss’ office and asked her to put Ethan’s name back on the list. She nodded and smiled as you left the room to go back to talking to Olivia and Faith. 

Soon enough, the next day rolled around. Ethan came, right at 3 o clock. He lightly smiled at you as he walked towards you, giving you a hug. 

You weeped in his arms. You didn’t expect to be sad when you saw him. You thought you’d be angry. But it wasn’t the case. You hadn’t realized how much you really missed him til now. 

Ethan began to explain himself, and if I’m being honest, it took a lot of time and tears before he could fully get it out. 

“Ethan. Why so many roses? I mean, you could’ve just gotten me one and it would have been okay.” You ask, looking at the plentiful amount of roses that were still seated at the table they had been when you got them. 

“27 roses for every day I missed.” Ethan says, hugging you again and kissing your forehead. You smiled and pulled away. 

“I love you, doofus.” 

Ethan grinned and laughed, “I love you too, y/n. And I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. I’ll be right with you when you’re outta this place.”

[legion1993]

Dark Arts + Love = Passion

A/N: once again trying something new... this is gonna be my first AU i think but thats not as important as tagging @luci-in-trenchcoats for giving me this idea... hope you enjoy this story...

AU=Soulmate

Pairing: Constantine x Reader

Summary: Constantine is the one that saved you from a demon, he shared his world with you, he brought you to the bunker.. but when Zedd comes back from a demon possession stopping of her own, she reveals a vision concerning both you and John... this is how it happened, this is how your journey with the famed John Constantine started...

Masterlist

“My name is John Constantine. I am the one who steps on the shadows, all trench coat and arrogance. I'll drive your demons away, kick 'em in the bullocks, and spit on them when they're down, leaving only a nod and a wink and a wisecrack. I walk my path alone because, let's be honest... who would be crazy enough to walk it with me?”

NOW

Y/N (possessed): “John constantine its time i kill you and return your head to my master...”

John: “ya i dont think so, now why dont you pus-sac pig headed lowlife get out of this fine lady and leave now...”

Y/N (possessed): “you have no idea how to save me without saving her... you dont realize that she is watching everything im doing right now and she is screaming for your help but she doesnt realize that i have full control of her actions and her words...”

John: “i got news for you mate, the girl will be just fine...”

John lights his lighter and throws it at the ground and it forms a circle around you... 

Y/N (possessed): “ill make sure she doesnt survive this John...”

John wouldnt allow another innocent to get hurt because of him... he did an exorcism...

John: “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, in nomine et virtute Domini Nostri Jesu!”

with a lot of screaming and a huge intake of breath the fire went out as the demon left your body, you hit the ground with a thud, well at least your body did, your head however was caught by john’s lap...

there is always a reasonable explaination for everything but waking up with your head in the lap of someone that you didnt know was the weirdest thing you ever experienced... 

John: “take it easy love... your still on an adrenaline high...”

Y/N: “where am i? what happened to me?”

John: “a demon took your body for a spin just so it could strike at me...”

Y/N: “a demon, what the hell are you talking about and who are you?”

John: “my name is John constantine, i specialize in the weird cases... this is gonna make this sound weird you and i are connected... its hard to explain but i need you to stay with me...”

Y/N: “ok but why am i covered in blood?”

John helped wrap you in his trenchcoat, you didnt reject his touch but you were shivering, John could feel it, you were emitting tremendous signs of power...

John: “come on let me take you somewhere safe where you can get cleaned up, and i can make you something to eat and explain whats happening...”

Y/N: “good something we can both agree on is food and a bath...”

John: “ay we can agree on those but i must warn you that what i have to say might not be what you want to hear...”

Y/N: “it can’t be the worst thing ive heard recently...”

John: “are you good to get up now?”

you nod as John helps you up, he holds onto you for a moment before hlping you get into the car...

As John drove you felt something, a spark between you and him... there was something there and you wanted to know what...

As John pulled up you vaguely co uld see the outlines of a house... a little cottage... but appearances on the outside isn't necessarily what it is on the inside...

your eyes were in wonder as John helped you out of the car, and you then walked with John into the house...

John: "don't touch anything these are all cursed objects, magical objects! you will learn more as time goes on..."

Y/N: "John what was that spark that I felt when I touched your skin... earlier lifting me off the ground made my skin tingle then just a few moments ago when you helped me out of the car.. what is happening?"

John looks around as if hoping someone was there...

John: "I don't know if now is the best time to discuss this... right now we need to get your powers under control..."

you backed up a bit from him as he finished speaking...

Y/N: “wait wait wait hold on a moment i have powers... what do you mean i have powers... im normal, i dont have powers...”

John: “thats where you are wrong love... you see everyone in one way or another have some sort of gifts... mystical or not, you however like me have gifts of the mystical kind...”

Y/N: “how do you know that?”

Zedd: “cause i told him...”

she comes downstairs and into the light... you back up and you look at John who is rolling his eyes....

Zedd: “oh no me and John arent together that is your job...”

Y/N: “what the hell are you talking about?”

Zedd: “im a seer i have visions... i drew this a while back, John has been trying around the clock to find you...”

she held towards you a piece of paper with the drawing of 2 forearms with joined hands but the forearms had names on them... one said “Y/N” the other said “John”...

Y/N: “this is impossible... how did you know about this???”

you rolled up your sleeve and revealed John’s name on your forearm... John who had his sleeves down rolled his up as well and connected his hand with yours as he revealed Y/N on his forearm...

you looked at John as he looked at you with the same fear that went coursing through your veins...

John: “bloody hell Zedd why did you draw this moment...”

Zedd: “i draw whatever i see John now if you dont mind im off to exterminate a demon problem nearby... plus if it wasnt for me sending you to deal with Y/N’s possession you would never have met her... by the way i saw that too...”

John: “cheeky little blitter...”

you tried to move your hand away from Johns but it didn't move...

Y/N: "what's happening? why won't our hands move?"

John: "Its the soulmate bond... it's a magical binding that happens when 2 soulmates touch with their marks... it signifies the binding of 2 souls together..."

Y/N: "so what does this mean?"

John: "it means we either at this moment need to announce the mystical bindings of marriage or consummate our soulmate binding..."

you were out of place, you were beside yourself you were talking with this guy who saved your life but turned out to be your god damn soulmate at the same time thats something that you never thought would happen...

Y/N: “my vote is announce the bindings of Marriage... so i have time to get my powers under control before we consummate anything... does that make sense...”

John breathes in lightly, his eyes staring right into your soul, his mind running wild with all sorts of thoughts... 

John: “we envoke the rights of marriage bindings, anything that we do from here on out will have a great tole on both of us till the day when we stand up in church with the rings embedded with the symbolic binding powers vested in both of us... sub vinculo tenetur illas leges per quos magicae (bind us together under the laws laid out by those whose magic bound them also)”

the second john finished his lines the circle surrounding both of you was lighter but john and you couldnt let go yet... zedd came back and laughed...

Zedd: “you guys only did the first part... there is another part that needs to happen before you guys can have your arms back...”

you and John were now facing eachother the hands that had been at your sides were now attached one on top of the other. both of you sort of smiling at eachother the thoughts swirling through your heads of all the nasty options... Zedd pulled you and John out of it and back to reality as she brought up anohter circle around you guys and she smiled at both of you...

John: “what the bloody hell did we miss?”

Zedd: “you have to both agree to the bond otherwise it doesnt work... it has to be done with another person asking you both a question of course in Latin and of course you have to answer in Latin... are you guys ready?”

John looks at you and you at him as if trying to discover how the other is feeling about all of this...

John: “im ready if you are Y/N..”

Y/N: “lets do it, i cant wait to start practicing/discovering my powers...”

Zedd: “ergo consentire in matrimonium est vinculum universorum vincula? (do you agree to the bindings of this marriage bond?)”

Y/N: “Nunc munere in hoc conveniunt (i do hereby agree)”

John: “Nunc munere in hoc conveniunt (i do hereby agree)”

Zedd lowered the circle before speaking one final line as though to complete the binding.

Zedd: “Ecce ego unionem in magica huius benedicat constitutionis (i hereby bless this union under the magical constitution) you may kiss the bride...”

John leaned in at the sametime you did and your lips did the rest, before long your hands were freed but they seemed to do their own thing...

but thats when Zedd had a vision, she started sketching as you and John made out right in the middle of the bunker, she saw multiple things...

doves

rings

a cage

the demonic circle

a set of demonic black eyes

a broken knot

seeing all these things kinda terrified Zedd but she was just happy that right then her friend and her friends soulmate were happy but she finished sketching anyway and hid it in the back of her book... for the fear that if she told right now it would make things worse than they already were...

~thats all for now folks~

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

This is the correct answer.

Who else wins a piece of the pot that voted?

Does anyone know of a small hermaphrodite with no womb whom would play dress up in my Boudreaux? Then he bust out my closet in a $15,551.15 dress and said "I bet 2020! Now how do i look?!?!" And it was a silver slinky one that fit him so perfectly I was so tempted to give it to him So i asked Alex if i could and he said "sure why not?"

"Do you know who bought it?" After I already said he had And all the girls did and they all told him they wanted to wear dresses and buy them from him.

"Well I did. It was probably on sale or something"

I yanked the tag off and handed it to him "I've never even wore it" he turned around and cried...

"I'll be back in a minute. Let him have it"

I saw him go to the Sugar Shack. Every one calls it Candy Shack. I wondered what is he doing. Then I saw Snoop pull a big black binder down.. Well he is the bookkeeper I thought. Then Alex ran back up the slight hill.

"Well, they won't pay me for them but they will give you store credit. Go one kids. Go on and you can buy one thing from the closet!"

"What do I pay thee for this?"

"Oh we are learning old English. Shakespeare. I thought it would be fun. It was on the list. Just the vocabulary for now. They could have some group quality time to practice"

"1 hug but not a kiss. Go ask her for how much is th4 rest of your debt"

"A kiss on the cheek. Hug snoop 4 times a day and Mis Shawntae once an hour"

She got hugs 1-3 times per hour. For up to one month. Abbie wanted to give her hugs for two. But two times a day during class free time.

The odd thing was. No one was jealous. We all clamored at the window or went outside the door to look. Watch her run down the hill and Miss Shawntae running up to greet her part way and hug in the middle. It made us happy and tear up.

To see such joy that we all had given being continued. It still makes me cry to this day. And I can still see them.

But none of us hung our heads and cried. We all held them up with pride.

After 10 days Ms Shawntae came up walking Abbie. "Is she okay?"

"10 days. For 10 days" she was crying. "Okay y'all look. Im gonna give y'all all a hug and I'll tell you what!" She hugged them all paid them a compliment and told them she loved them and/or cared about them. Took a moment for each child. "Ah i feel better. Now for 10 days i been seeing y'all from at the bottom of that hill looking up to see y'all all standing at the window on tables to look and out that door. And when I wave y'all wave really quick then run and hide at your desks so Abbie don't see you. Now why do y'all all do that? And why are y'all all smiling so big?!?!"

"She said we could but don't make her feel like she don't have no privacy." I laughed.

Abbie said "Do y'all still do that? I felt like my life was private!"

We assured her her trek up the hill was hers alone. Some one always stood to watch out the gate which was a different direction than the Sugar Shack. Someone new each day.

Shawntae looked sad. "But doesn't Snoop watch? Someone?"

"Not always Your husband is always looking at you. But i assure you the kids always watch the gate and we always see her dad rush past the window and tickle her"

"I thought it was private"

"Let me finish. No one looks out the window in that doorway. Remember you put the paper over it with tape?"

"I wish it was glue" she crossed Her arms

"Try glue but it won't stick like tape"

"Can I ?!?!"

"Yeah If you want to"

"Let her finish!" Said Shawntae

"I tell you too.. Oop I'll let her' said Antron

"We let all the kids see what your dad does to you. Then we allowed you to put the paper up for your privacy."

"What does he do?" Asked Shawntae

"Tickle. I asked him the first time I saw him do it to her"

"How do you know it was him?"

"He's invisible. He shed his skin and clothing just to see his daughter. He said he would give her up if i could forgive him."

The whole class was silent.

"So why does he come and tickle her and see her then? Why this month long hugs?"

"She told me she missed him. And so i went out and talked to the moon. Because she never did that first month. When Every one else did, too. She was honest to a T." I was so torn apart by this little girl. My life. The Earth's situation. I looked at the wall opposite of every one. That became too much.. Being alone... I looked down at my lap but they became sobs. So much I couldn't talk. So i looked up into the faces of all these people. These children. And they were proud and they were smiling.

And Shawntae said "give me a hug. We all knew. The kids told. Too many secrets will weigh on your heart tho"

"But what we didn't know. May I speak? That you talked to the moon about it. That you asked your own worst enemy to be allowed just once per day in the afternoon to touch or speak to his daughter for just one moment to make her happy. That is what we never knew. Not one. Not one of us. And that is what makes you a good teacher. Now give me a hug." He did. And he said things no one ever said to me except people who knew me my whole life. And i really needed a hug. "Now i know why your face keeps look in misery. Because you do. You stay miserable for the whole world to be happy. And i told. Because you told me out of no one else in this school to lock the door when she would leave only in the afternoon. And put up a piece of paper. I thought why? She's crazy. But she had that look on her face she's only had since she got poisoned when I called her a crazy old bitch and went under her leg and said I was going outside and she grabbed my arm and shook it like I was a rag doll and she looked me square in the eye and I mean dead straight in the eye and shook her head so slow no. I thought I would die!! And she meant it too!! Now that same man or I mean alien man will go out there only ij the afternoon to see his only daughter. And the first day he came to see her and only she knew?? And she wrote on the board "Dial 911 but only if i don't erase when i come in" and said she was going outside and Abbie looked well shamed and the rest of us shocked. That was when i knew and Then when she walked back in and said "Abbie it's okay. I talked to the moon after you and i talked. Every one else mind your business" and she erased the board and Every one smiled but Abbie Beaaammmed!! And Then when I wrote on the board "call the police if I don't come back in" to tell you two he wasn't racist and SHE erased the board so fast and jumped in her seat so fast i could scarcely see ans i said "i thought your back hurt" and she said "ywah well that went and did it. I should used longer legs" and thats when,I knew. She talked to,the moon"

The class applauded.

"We had a class on it. When Abbie asked" i laughed. "The sun we trust because it makes food grow and all that stuff so when we can't talk to the sun because we are afraid to,get burned or well hurt in,this instance, we talk to,the moon because it is a reflection and filters out all the bad stuff just like when we talk to a friend who tells us we are beautiful. That is the moon.,in short"

So who makes up the full 13?

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 16 - “Debbie was right. Never trust a god damn redhead” - Owen

That tribal actually went better than I could have ever expected, even with Owen staying.  Owen definitely only had it set up to play his idol if an idol was played on Cullan, two idols burnt and one was def wasted by Cullan so now he doesn't have it to use later in the game if/when it inevitably comes time to start making hard decisions.  That play also drives Maynor/Timmy/Chips a little closer to me in that 6 person alliance which I absolutely need.  KAIT IS GONE!!!!!  Every round, every day she was buttering me up as jury management, I knew it, she knew it.  That is absolutely annoying, makes me want someone to win even less.  The reason I wanted Owen first was for the simple fact Kait would be more likely to try to work with me than Owen if she knew she was on the bottom.  Oh well, pretty good tribal for me all in all, everything turned up Ian.  

Debbie was right. Never trust a god damn redhead. Me: omg Maynor so cute love my showmance Me: omg Timmy and I putting our shit in the past love him Maynor and Timmy: rihanna.winking.gif In a way I deserve it. I made myself heard these last few votes with pulling together alliances at merge and going after Devon and Ian and even the Venus thing. And I accidentally revealed in the chat that Kait found my idol. It made sense for them to take a shot, although not sure why me and not Kait and matt who are more likeable and powerful lmao Now I’m just like.... okay Devon and Ian got what they wanted which is gross? Timmy and Maynor gonna try to sell this as their move but as far as I’m concerned Devon and Ian own it. I’m sure they capitalized on touchy subjects to make me strong and them weak. Moving forward I just hope that now that Kait is gone there are bigger fish to fry.... I’m gonna get drunk and then deal with this tomorrow lmao Two rounds ago I was stressed choosing between my two closest allies. Now both of them are gone and I’m fucked 😂

I’m shocked Owen knew to play his idol...I need to figure out how that happened. I am happy Kait left in the end though because that’s who I even said in the Ridiculous 6 chat but others wanted Owen and I didn’t feel like pushing too much because either going was fine to me. But 7-3 in the revote was spicy, I think it was Matt that flipped just to be in the majority for his piece of mind. Still don’t really trust him anymore because he’s a liar, but it is what it is. Should be interesting tomorrow when people have more time to talk.

I guess i’ll make one before going to bed cuz Johnny asked. So this challenge was cute. The fishes though were very douchey. Tbh when Timmy told me Ian had 19 million when I had 9 million, I was like Im not winning. I also thought Cullan was going to beast this challenge and get like 100 million. I was shook to find out that I won. And I won the final 9 immunity which means I beat my Guyana placement which is amazing. Im so happy. Now I just need to get further in this game. But first need to see who will be voted out at tribal tomorrow night. No names have been said yet. More updates tomorrow, i promise.

If Cullan's amateur hour costs me MY game for me.... then I guess I deserve it, alliance management is kind of my whole thing in these games. I try to make everyone I'm allied with to feel like I want to go to the top with them. I can fix this, I have too. Why the hell would you tell someone that 4 people already want to vote one way? Quit getting ahead of yourself, think of the future but focus on the round at hand. Single digits is a slow burn and every fucking step has to be precise. If I can manage to keep the "alliance" together Cullan just solidified why I want to sit with him in the end, he won't win.

So I’m still recovering from the real life hangover and survivor hangover of losing Kait and having my little alliance blown into smithereens. I still do trust Maynor and Madison moving forward but I definitely feel there’s less room to hide. All I can really do at this moment is kind of get on board with voting Owen, which btw I wanted to do anyway eventually hehe. Not having kait makes me nervous but I definitely feel less tethered and more free to make moves moving forward and I hope one of them involved actually getting cullans ass out smh I’m telling you he’s gonna win.

Odd day, not really sure what to do. I feel like doing Owen is predictable so I am exploring some options today. I am trying to see what is best for me going forward.  I think Owen Madison and Matt all have the jury votes at this point so getting them out may be good. But long term is that what is best for me, I don’t know. 

I feel lost...like I know what both sides are doing but being in the middle has its drawbacks knowing that maynor and i are on the bottom of both sides then which sucks. I think the best move tonight is to get rid of Owen but who knows what implications that will end up having. Will be interesting.

I had a dream I made a rlly funny confessional and then I woke up to find literally nobody has messaged me back except for Devon who is talking about god knows what I’m literally miserable without Kait. I thought that Maynor and Timmy would easily flip back to us and vote with me matt madison to break up the Devon Cullan Ian thing. But Maynor didn’t answer me all day and madison barely is. Timmy said ‘what moves are to be made’ ???? Matt at least came and told me Cullan said it was me and then told me Maynor and madison are in and they’re talking to timmy. Why are they talking to matt but not me??? It’s fucked up And then I yelled st Cullan and asked if he was just gonna let Devon and Ian drag him to the end and beat him and he was like ‘well I’ll vote them if there’s numbers’ lmao. Bitch idek god I’m tired of him asking me what the vote is all the time like GSKSHDB WHY DO U THINK I HAVE ANY CONTROL THIS ROUND I’m Absolutely about to lose my mind. I’m surprised it’s taken this long for me to snap but I legitimately can’t stand omg. Like I don’t even bother messaging chips or Ian lmao I don’t have anything to talk to them about I wish I could’ve won immunity. If I somehow stay tonight I need to figure something out 

I think Owen is gonna get voted out and if that happens I’m done! But let’s pray chips is going bye bye.

I’m absolutely pissed at Madison and Maynor. Why aren’t they fucking talking to me when they’re apparently telling matt they’ll do stuff???? What the fuck!? Matt is telling me Devon will apparently vote chips. Okay....? Like what do you want me to do or say? You have all the information rn because nobody will message me. I asked Matt if he thought we should still vote Ian and then if Devon rlly votes chips it would be 4-4-1 and I can use my tiebreaker. Matt was like ‘who would they vote I don’t want to make it too complicated’ I DONT KNOW WHO THEYD VOTE UR THE ONE TALKING TO THEM. I appreciate him trying to save me but it’s frustrayinf because I have no stability rn when they just ugh’nnn idk. Why hasn’t he made a group or some shit 

The vote tonight is going to be Owen, most likely. But Matt Madison and Owen wants to do Chips. I dont know if thats a good move. Its better to have Owen gone since he is a huge threat in the game. I just feel bad about voting for him again.

Alright, so here's a hot take of what's been going on with me and this game. Last round the goal was to vote out Owen because he's the biggest threat in a group of four that has been conspiring to control the game - the group is Owen, Kait, Madison, and Matt. The way I see the group breaking down is basically, Owen+Madison and Kait+Matt with each duo having a strong link between the four. A group of six formed to counter these four called the "Ridiculous Six" formed by Devon. It is my understanding that Devon was a "pawn" of the four before defecting after they tried to strike at Ian during the duos vote off. Since he felt "used" he defected and wanted to keep the four from keeping control in creating the group.

The four had control of two hangers-on in the form of Timmy and Maynor that they were using for two extra votes. Since they would potentially have the numbers if those two were to vote with them they let loose a "plan" to vote out Devon when in reality telling those two that they would be voting Cullan in case of telegraphing to Devon to play his idol - Cullan actually had an idol and played it and I think it prompted Owen in playing his. To be honest, I think that Owen sent to his tribe chat that he would play his idol IF Cullan had an idol played on him or played one himself. So no votes counted and then we just went with our second choice in Kait to vote out of the game. She left.

--

So the round following the vote seems pretty obvious to me, we need to try and vote out Owen. The group is scared to actually follow through on the vote because they think he will play an idol. I mean, if he does it's another idol burned and makes the vote easier. I know that that means we lose somebody but I dunno, if it were me getting voted out because of it I wouldn't be too pressed getting idoled out. Anyway, Cullan kinda let me know that there's a "secret" other plan to vote out Madison instead since she has a good social game, which I haven't seen. And also Matt is telling people to vote me instead to try and force a tie so that Owen can use his ACTUAL power that we know he has... I dunno man, if we end up voting out Madison instead (because they don't vote Owen) then I might be more flexible in what I do because Owen did that. And if I end up going then woohoo! That makes me 3/3 with getting ninth in a season in a row.

Looks like Devon and I are the middle know. Apparently he wants to get rid of Chips cuz of this hero arc?!?!? Interesting so need to know how he is voting. This is somewhat getting messy between Chips and Owen. Im glad I have immunity.

Ok this vote is SAUCY SAUCY SAUCY! The vote started with me wanting to target Madison as she is a social threat and has connections to maynor who would flip to their side (he already has). Chips became concerned that he wasn't being looped in on the vote so we decided to continue the push towards owen. Matt, madison, and maynor all agreed to vote for Owen but in reality they are voting for chips as that's the most viable option than can convince us to do as he is a "goat". He's a good ally so no way in hell am I voting him out. If owen and the gang survive this vote, they have majority and there will be a clear pecking order especially considering the fact he has a tiebreaker advantage. I feel confident in the five we have to vote for owen

i think im leaving this is all just bad devon apparantly wants chips and it wasd too much to try this forcing a tie shit so now we're just goin with chips which hopefully is enough but someone told cullan it was chips???? lmao so thats fun and i tried convincing cullan to do it but idk this whole thing is kinda fucked up soooo bye bye 

---

i wouldnt be so sad about this if kait were still here but there are literally so many personality-less people left in this game and if they get to the end ill literally die. madison and matt rlly about to be all i have left ro root for this is absolutely TRAGIC. imagine the first boot coming back into the game and getting dragged to the end as a goat fksadjfhjf GOD im so sad rn :((((((((((((((((((((((((((99 I WANTED TO DO SOMETHIN ICONIC IN THIS GAME BUT ALL I DID WAS FORGET TO TALK TO PEOPLE AND COMPLAIN at least ill prob win hq words

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 10: “It’s Like Giving A Baby A Glock” - Mo

I’ve been tricked, I’ve been backstabbed and, quite possibly, bamboozled.

So like here’s the thing, the person I thought going into merge I could trust the least is apparently now my closest ally. That’s Julia. I thought everyone was on the same page of voting out Tom like oh we’re gucci. But fucking quick fake out, no such thing as Tom getting voted out. I literally started hysterically laughing because no one was answering me when I asked what happened on the call. Now I don’t know what to do but I’m still just gonna have fun.

operation vote alex was a success. i feel really really awful because he looked so upset, but he was just too powerful and couldn't stick around any longer ahh. in other news sleeping beauty tom is so funny, he almost self-voted himself out of the game I am truly screaming. i was determined this season to make up for the last time we played together and i think i got to do that ahh.

in other news... i need to go into hiding. i have done way too much in both of the last votes, and its really gonna start getting me some attention unless i really really go under the radar. me and jules are the only people who voted both ian and alex, and on call with jason i think its obvious to him now that us two are close eek!

i feel like mo is a good next vote, he is much more of an outsider than jones and is an easy vote which is what i need since im in such a highlighted position at the moment eek, i really think i'm gonna go like 8th or something, so we will see how that little pickle goes eek!

New Goal Bootlist: Mo > Jones > Jason > Julia > Mitch > Me/Caeleb/Jules/Benj/Tom F5, ahh I love everyone left way too much this is gonna become such a pickle when I don't wanna vote out like.... half the tribe EEK. lets just hope its all smooth sailing till i idol someone out eek.

i do not expect to make FTC, but I just wanna use my idol correctly before I go askljdfa. Also new jury rankings if I get booted 10th:

Jules > Jason > Benj > Caeleb > Mitch > Jones > Julia > Tom > Mo

Caeleb shot up my rankings for being open to a move, Jason would be a major underdog if he makes it to FTC, Jules is too woke and deserves votes, and Benj is playing a super smart game ha! We will see, but I sure do not expect to last much longer in this game KLASDFA

HELLO!!! This game has been chaos lately. Firstly Ian gets blindsided and I knew it would be a split vote but had no clue he was leaving wow... but then this round all the people who organised that got blindsided with the Alex vote hehe. I didn't vote him bc my vote was publicized by Ian even tho I didn't vote him smh but I fully knew about it and kinda helped with it even tho its mainly caelebs move

Alex was super nice I liked him but it was purely for game he was the biggest threat and we were almost certain he had durmitor idol so! Even with tom self voting it worked wowow so I guess jules also voted with ali/caeleb/mitch/Jason

I don't talk to Julia or mo but IM SO SAD ABT JONES I DONT KNOW IF SHE KNOWS I KNEW OR NOT BUT I LOVE HER AND HOPE SHE DONT HATE ME

But whew this merge has been so crazy and I love it. Im kinda becoming floaterish again but that's fine bc we see threats leave early like ian and alex so! this should work for a while... altho im terrified to even make the end cuz its a live finale tribal AHHHH but idk if I will make it there anyway we will see. prob not .

Current rankings (strategically)

1. Ali - MY KINGGGG FOREVER!!!! Best duo ever and I don't think anyone knows it... we have voted differently again so its like perfect cuz despite doing diff stuff we still tell each other everything. and I hope we find merge idol so we have 2 hehe

2. Caeleb - Omg we have been working together a lot more closely lately and I really like it hes fun to work with im so sad I voted him 2 rounds ago LOL but its ok since its going to well now! king

3. Mitch - Only person ive been on every tribe with, usually always on the same page w stuff

4. Jones - LOVE HER QUEEN! she would be like tied 1st for personal but so far we have voted diff both times at merge oops! but still wanna go far with her

5/6. Jules/Tom - Without really talking about strategy we were still on the same page. Tom aussie king. JULES FRIENDLY QUEEN!

7/8/9. Jason/Julia/Mo - I just don't know how to talk to them really lol but all nice . my fault cuz maybe im so inactive... love u guys still

IDK WHATS NEXT BUT I WANNA MAKE TOP 9 ATLEAST!! Single digits again yus

Ok ok after tending to my needy cat, taking a shower, and taking a short 6 hour nap that others may call sleep,,, I’m 60% in the right headspace to gather my thoughts I think.

Last nights move was so good, I hated it Bc I wasn’t included in it but it was so good. But also seeing Alex literally on the verge of tears was NOT so good. That was actually depressing. Granted he WAS the biggest threat to win and he was on the verge of becoming an extremely controlling paranoid person - but dammit the combination of Mitch/Ali/Jason/Jules/Caeleb/Tom (to an extent) got us SO good.

BTW I can say with like 95% certainty that those were the 6 people involved w Alex going. It only makes sense to me that it would be? Ali/Mitch/Tom straight up TOLD me why they did what they did, Jason Bc why the fuck would he vote out Tom, Caeleb has expressed so much paranoia ab Alex that I’d be shocked if he wasn’t on board w it, and honestly Jules just hasn’t said anything ab anything and Alex went home w 5 votes, Benj and Julia voted Jason, Mo was VISIBLY shaken by Alex going, and I know I didn’t do it. So unless I’m missing someone in my process of elimination, those are the 6 people involved in the murder of Alexander Crooks.

Also on a couple unrelated notes - I’m thinking ab willing my vote cover to someone. I just don’t understand why I should be afraid of being exposed - I feel like I shouldn’t have anything to hide yk? Assuming I have to expose my vote I mean, hopefully I don’t! But ya

Also literally the round Before last round I think Caeleb actually exposed the plan to blindside Alex to me ? Like he was talking to me ab Tom and Ali wanting to get him out and then I approached Ali ab it and he was like no that’s not a thing BUT IT WAS A THING!! I think Alex was supposed to go last round, but Bc I confronted Ali ab it then it got pushed back??? Or it was legit just meant for this round smdmmdmd but um ya that’s might be the same plan?? So maybe I’ll expose Caeleb a bit hehehehe.

But honestly tho I think this could be really good for me in the sense that every single person thought of me as a duo w Alex - now I’m kind of a free agent who can do whatever the fuck I want!! Which is fun, the only true alliances I have w people now are just w benj and mo, which is cute and also I doubt anyone would target them anytime soon ? Tom seems like he’s still open to working w me, so are Ali and Mitch. Julia was also blindsided hardcore so maybe she’d be down to work out something too ? Right now I’m just holding out hope knowing for a fact that I CAN make this situation better. I’ve literally BEEN in this situation 2 times already?? I can do this! Just like Co-Star always tells me.

Wait just kidding on the Julia thing I can’t trust her either, I can only trust Jones at the moment.

So I found out from Benj that there was another split vote led by Alex. Last tribal he failed to tell me that they were going to vote out Ian instead of Jason. So this time around, when I found out that they were going to do the same thing to me again, I knew there was no going back with my new connection with Ali. The more I talked around with everyone the more the pieces started to align. Tom and Jason were targets so they would be easy to get involved. With me and Ali that's already 4. Mitch was going to be the fifth, and Jules as well if we felt like he wasn't going to go for it. I honestly wanted to vote Jules first tho, and I talked to Ali and Benj about that originally, but Ali had reservations as Jules is SUCH a flipper. AND THEN Julia voted so early, so I kinda went up to everyone in this new group and was like, "okay that was arrogant I think she's trying to be funny but thats enough for me to vote her," and Ali was way more into that so for a couple hours we had that going. BUT MITCH WAS NO WHERE TO BE SEEN. Like we had our four and we were ready but Mitch didn't come on line until like 40 min before tribal. And when he did he was like I'm voting Alex. I really didn't want to go for Alex right away because of a couple of reasons. One being that if he heard of this vote in anyyy way he might be able to get Jones to play her idol for him and that could destroy everything. SECONDLY, I knew that if we voted him then I was gonna have to do some SERIOUS damage control with Mo and Jones but if I had the opportunity to vote out Julia instead, I can go back to them and say that I knew I had to take the opportunity to be involved in the decisions but I didn't want it to be any of them. SOOO last 40 min I had to make a really big decision if I was gonna vote Alex or Tom and ultimately, I chose to vote out Alex. It just would put me in a better position.

I am so glad I did it to be honest. The moment I saw Alex's name five times I knew I made the right decision. I felt Happy and I felt Free. Alex was clearly using me as a failsafe, an easy first vote out once Me, Mo, Alex, Jones, Julia, Jules, and Ali were left. Now, this game is open up not just for me, but for everybody. I seriously think anyone can take control at this point. I don't need it to be me, I just need it to be someone who likes me. I think Jones is the most dangerous player right now, because of her idol. But I have kept that to myself, as well as her advantage, because while I might have to play the middle ground, I'm not a snitch.

Everyone is always so obsessed with being a hero or a villain. Going into Tumblr Survivor as a new player I really wanted to find out what type of player I was going to become. If I was gonna fit into one of those roles. I don't know what I am. I kinda feel like a villain because clearly that was a devious move, and I broke a strong alliance, but also I feel like I was a villain by default. I didn't necessarily want to be that player, I actually would've loved to have felt safe in that group. But trust has gotta go both ways, and if you show me two tribals in a row that you don't trust me to tell me the whole plan, I'm not gonna stick true with a group that sees me as expendable. So sure I was a villain, but it wasn't about vengeance or deceit or ill-will. It was to put this game back on a balance, and move me into a new spot that can work for me.

Okay, something I have learned about Survivor is that you have to put your Pride in Check. Tom is so nice to me, says a lot of things along the lines of "thanks for saving me," "you and I can go far in this," and such. And he told me he wasn't going to vote me in the first merge vote, and I think he believes that he fooled me. I know he voted me. He's literally the only person that would think voting me was the majority vote, except Ian and Jason. I wanna tell him that I know so badly so he doesn't think he's pulling one over me but I can't because I want him to think he can work with me, that I am in his pocket because he "stuck his neck out for me" or whatever.

Also ummm Mitch told me that Alex had a planned assassination on me for the last vote before merge. But he didn't tell me until after the Alex vote and said Jones was in on it. I know better than to trust what Mitch tells me for sure, so I don't think I will even go and fact check him on it. I honestly don't know how that would've helped Alex in the slightest so I don't know if its true, but also Alex likes to throw out my name as a "just in case" so god who knows. Regardless, I doubt I'll use this information for anything because it honestly doesn't matter going forward, other than that Mitch is a little bit of a snake.

hehe

So I won the reward challenge because I’m cool.

I

Have

No

Fucking clue

What to do with this

Like all three of the people voted Alex off without telling me about anything and I was in an alliance chat with all three of them (Ali & Jules in Space Jam, Caeleb in Durmitor Dominators) so like of course I was sad because that meant I was on the outs. Truth be told I kinda wish I didn’t win this because it’s like giving a baby a glock. Because I don’t know how to come out of this without people thinking I’m holding a grudge.

okay so mo won reward which is okay! I dont really wanna ask him to save me, because that will require making promises that I dont know if I'll be able to keep. I expect to be cursed this round.

touchy subjects is going to tank my game like CRAZY. I'm worried that Caeleb, Benj & Jules could all say they trust me most which is highkey terrifying, because if I win that it'll send red flags to all of them. I expect to win the shady game ones, about lying and flipping on alliances and stuff which is not as bad because I can just blame that on Space Jam which I told Caeleb about.

My big fear and this could just be ego-talking, like when I thought I was gonna win the lists challenge and then came second last but I'm so worried about getting the will win if they make it to the end category, thats... a death sentence in my opinion.

Wanna do like a quick update for each person too, just so I can look back when they all hate me at the end of the season:

Benj: my KING. He is such a legend, I love talking to me and do not think I would ever be able to vote for him, except at FTC! Wanna go super far with him, super super far!

Caeleb: Oh god I'm already realising the problem, which is that I love everyone. Caeleb I did not expect to get as close to, but he is so so fun to talk to! I'm really giving with him, and I think he is close to Benj too, so could be a good endgame person too. Will see on that one.

Jason: I love him! I for some reason convinced myself that he hated me during the swap, but I dont think... he does? he is SO smart and fun, I'd love to vote for him at an FTC. Ideally he needs to go before then, but I've lost Ian and Alex who were great shields so he acc probably needs to stick around.

Jones: Okay Jones is tough. Like... we stan becausee she is so much fun and I love talking to her. But talking game with her right now is tough because we have this weird poor communication and I'm conscious of not making empty promises when I want to see her go soon. I really like her on a personal, but I see either me voting her out or her voting me out.

Jules: what can I say except we stan. I talk to her and Benj the most by far, they are just consistently showing why we love them! I think they are such a threat, but I cant face the idea of voting them out eek! Wanna go super far with Jules because I LOVE THEM and they are a great friend and ally!

Julia: I messed up with Julia BAD. I should've told her about the Alex vote, I really think she would've been down, and it would've been so much better. Now she is upset and paranoid, and I feel so bad. I did her wrong and need to make it up to her, but I dont know if I will be able to eeek!

Mitch: he is so funny HDJDKDKD, like the way he talks is so funny. I've had a real rollercoaster relationship with him this season, but I could see some sort of alliance of me/Caeleb/Mitch/Benj coming together in the future! We will see ahh!

Mo: I've been quite harsh about Mo in confessionals this season but I feel like this vote gave him the kick he needs? Like he was playing it super safe and while it frustrates me seeing him say stuff like just keep me to F7 and such, he is, as always great to be around and a lotta fun!

Tom: Sleeping Beauty Tom. It's so funny to me that he stayed despite self-voting and sleeping. He is so much fun, I was determined to make up for our last game and I think I have ahh.

Summary is I wanna see Jones and Mo out next, then Mitch & Jason, then Julia leaving a F5 of Caeleb/ Me/ Benj/ Tom/ Jules? Thats the dream anyway ha!

Maybe I'm just paranoid but I feel like I've backstabbed/betrayed a good amount of people in this game and it's hard because sure they were moves that had to be made, but I hate being THAT PERSON. I don't know. Here's a confession Johnny, I'm trying but I'm bad at these.

So Mo said he was going to give me the reward tonight. He definitely doesn't talk to me as much and is much less excited and fun to talk to but I think I need to just accept that. The fact that he came up to me to tell me he's giving it to me, rather than me asking, makes me think he's telling the truth.

Plus I am being honest with him when I tell him that I don't want it to be him next. I hope he knows that.

Jones meanwhile has yet to say anything to me after last tribal. I finally messaged her last night, saying that I didn't mean anything towards her when I voted Alex. I hope she'll come around, but if not, then umm I kinda have no choice but to be wary of her and her idol and might have to do something about it. I don't want to though, I do wanna work with both her and Mo.

I actually think Julia is on my side. I can’t tell if she’s lying but she seemed upset because apparently no one talked to her about the plan to vote out Alex.

I'm bored at work. This tribal council is Odd as Hell. No one wants to throw out names, no one wants to seem too schemey, so everyone is just talking about being nervous and concerned. I honestly don't know who I want to go home because I think this vote is going to determine the course of this game post-Alex. I know I sure as hell don't want to come off as someone who is dictating the votes, so I'm trying to make it clear that I am willing to go with the flow with anyone who needs a vote rn.

I think there are people who have my back hopefully that will tell me if I need to be worried at least. Ali hopefully would, Tom *hopefully* would (but who knows hes sneaky), Mo was nice enough to give me the reward but um the Alex vote has changed him, I miss the old Mo. come back. Jones finally is talking to me again, but she's still trying to keep some secrets about the last couple of votes so I don't fully trust her. Benj hopefully would, but I was surprised he talks to Julia so much. Jason hopefully would, but now with Alex gone his game opens up tremendously. Julia would never tell me. Mitch wouldn't tell me unless it helped himself which I can't imagine happening. Jules probably wouldn't tell me because she's the easiest to convince into doing something no matter what Touchy Subjects said. She's literally flipped allegiances like every single vote ever. I hope I can survive tonight because I think this is going to be a pivotal vote and literally anyone can go home tonight (except Benj who has the sweet immunity).

HI um I think this game is broken? No one will say anything to anyone. Did I do this? Did I break this game? Or maybe we all did? Maybe Ali did maybe Jules did maybe Mitch did because us four are the middle people and we created an atmosphere where no one trusts anyone? or everyone trusts some people and none of that fits into a substantial person to vote?

I'm literally laughing rn. I am logging off. I am not going to focus on this game because literally every person just says "I don't want to throw a name out" "I haven't heard anything" "what have you heard" Like the gravity of this is crazy. This has gone on for HOURS. I don't know what to do so I am going to ignore my messages for like an hour and then reanalyze because Damn.

APPARENTLY NO ONES SAYING SHIT. But like part of me is like “Hm.... Yeah ok sure...” thinking it’s gonna be me. Because either everyone is lying to me or everyone’s genuinely confused.

okay i did a video confessionals that's uploading which has my thoughts from a couple of hours ago.

since then jules is pushing for mitch to go... but its so tough. mitch i think has my back, i just wanna vote mo and delay this war by a round. I just want someone like Mo or Jones gone, its getting tough. I'm playing the middle and am in a web of problems.

I have to have Jules back above all. Benj is safe, so I need to keep them safe. I need to get the vote on like Mo or someone, but Caeleb wants to vote Mitch or Jules too... ugh this is getting really messy and I'm worried and tired.

Idk if I sent this yet but

At the moment rightnow it seems like it’s Jules or Mitch, right now I think,,,, the best way to vote is Mitch. I’m Trying to get everyone on the path for mitch because I think Jules is falling in the “I’m a big threat wah” category and I want that to keep growing,,, I just feel,, so awful.

Mitch if you’re reading this ily w my whole heart and I still wanna crash Drew’s library w you some day

i am... what we call in the business, trash. i upset mitch and deserve to be voted out for it. i'm snappin' hearts on my way to FTC LORD.

[ruine420]

30 questions tag

Tagged by @emmathehalf-bloodhunter 1. How tall are you? 5'11 2. What color and style are your hair? Caught between brunette and dark blonde with a basic finger length on top 3 on the sides fade for work. 3. What color are your eyes? Grey Blue 4. Do you where glasses? Im a blind fuck who hasn't bought new contacts, yes when i need my eyes. 5. Do you wear braces? Nope 6. What is your clothing style? Same slim straight 511 cut levis since high school when out plus a tshirt and some form of shorts when home instead of pants. 7. Any freckles/moles/beauty marks? Im Irish my shoulders are a constolation of freckles 8. Where were you born? Stockton Motherfuckers, to qoute fellow native nick diaz lol 9. Where do you live? Modesto california 10. Do you have any siblings? A half sister from my mom a half brother from my dad 11. Do you go to school? I wanna go but wanna make sure first what for at this point 12. What kind of student were you? The one that aced the tests but never did hw 13. What are your favorite tv shows? Supernatural, Ncis LA are the only ones currently on air still and G.o.T. 14. What are your favorite past times? Gaming, grappling and good conversation. 15. What is your dream job? One that allows me to legally live comfortably only less than 40hrs a week...ill get back to you when i find it lol 16. Would you like to get married? Yes 17. Would you like to have kids? Yes 18. Girly girl or tomboy? Im gonna assume this would be about preference for obvious reasons and that answer is both in combination 19. Do you like shopping. Not really im a know what i want before 20. What countrys have you visited? Ive only been in 6 states, never left murica *eagle screech* lol no seriously poor people dont travel or vacation much 21. What is the scariest dream you've ever had? I feel pain and die in my dreams which are usually a hellscape nightmare setting. I really dont think picking one is necessary. 22. Do you have enemies? I have a jon snow, steve rodgers personality type and morals in a world that idolizes the joker and voted trump into office 23. Do you have a significant other? No 24. If not do you want one? Yes, just not atm I'm bitter still and thats not fair to put on anyone else 25. Are you open about your feelings? Yes and no. If i share with you its overly honest and forth coming. If i dont i wont lie i just wont say anything or bluntly shut you down if you pry. I general share very little which has earned me a reputation as a aloof asshole among my family. If the person i confided the most often to knew how rough i am with people who ask for the same thoughts i share with them openly im not sure what their reaction would be. 26. What is your family? Frustrating to the point of only not murdering them because they're family on a regular basis between the alcoholism, dominance displays and pettyness to mind boggling self destructive levels. 27. Would you date someone your parents didnt approve of? Their opinion isnt valued in that realm their total fuck ups romantically. 28. Favorite color? Dark purple 29. Any pet peeves? People who have no idea what boundrys are and blasting music anytime between 12 and 7 a.m when im sleeping! 30. do you believe in astrology? Im tired but if thats horoscope stuff then no!

[maggiehanhamgrad701]

All About Annie

MY LOVES

Its about time we become straight up and just say what we are all thinking right (lol)? So here I go, here at the most annoying, frustrating and honest things that float to my brain when I think of Endometriosis.

HERE ARE THE CONFESSIONS OF AN ENDOMETRIOSIS SUFFERER\

Yeah, sorry to get straight into it with the gorey details. However the amount of underwear ive had to handwash in the shower, or are to far gone and had to be thrown in the bin is so high I have lost count. Might I add it really sucks when I treat myself to a beautful sexy matching bra and undies set and after the first wear I have to bin them.

2. Constant STI/STD Checks

OK this one for me is a serious annoyance. The fact that I have probably had more check-ups than a sex worker (no hate) is absolutley ridiculous. Its even more frustrating when I explain that ‘I was literally tested a month or 2 ago and havnt had sex since then’ and still get poked and proded amazes me. Even more crazy is the fact me and my boyfriend were given pills to take for an STD even though we both tested negative more than ten times, but just in case we had to take them. I have endo, not a STD mate.

3. “OMG I get really bad period pains toooooo”

Look, I know you trying to be supportive or whatever by saying this however this one one of the most offensive things you can say to an endo sufferer. You may get severe period pains and that sucks, but the fact that you think endo is just period pains is frustraing. When you can hardly get out of bed for weeks on end, talk to me.

4. Greasy Hair and Hairy Legs

You know you are having a bad episode when even the thought of showering is draining let alone actually completing this task. So to say I literally get in and out would be quite a good description. My poor boyfriend putting up with my hairy body and my poor, poor cute outfits being let down by a greasy bun. Oh the joys of fatigue.

5. Paying for Pads and Tampons

This stuff is expensive, espically when you bleed for 6 weeks straight. Goverment listen up, fund ’em!

6. When everyone you meet suddenly has the ‘answer to my prayers’

Im just not even gonna…….

7. “My Aunty had a baby and thats how she cured her Endometriosis”…..

First of all, CURE – LOL, second of all, whatever rock you live under, please remove yourself from it and educate yourself, Pregnancy doesn’t help everyone people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8. When the Staff in the Emergency Department think your a Drug addict

We all must have been here right? The funny looks, the whispers and stares, the “are you sure your really in pain hunny” chats. A common complaint from a lot of woman who deal with Endometriosis is they are made to feel like drug seekers. Seriously? Do you think I want to be lying in a cold, loud hospital wing on a Tuesday night at 1:13am instead of my warm cosy bed fast asleep? Do you really think if I had a choice I would like to be hooked up to a morphine drip filling myself with pharmaceutical crap?? NO I AM NOT SEEKING DRUGS! But I would really like them to help get rid of this pain so please come to your senses and realise I am in desperate need of your help and assist me in getting sane and comfortable enough to head home, thanks 🙂

9. The wheat bag is just never hot enough

Ok, how many of us have literally nearly burnt ourselves from frying our skin with an extra hot wheaty? (I imagine you are all raising your hands at this point) When the pains are so bad it is literally impossible to get your heat device hot enough to even slightly make the cramps bearable, there is so no saving you lol.

10. “Does like, that mean you can’t ever have babies?”

Firstly, sit down you insensitive human. Secondly, my chances do become slimmer then normal, thanks for reminding me 🙂 isn’t it actually the worst when people don’t even think about how this question is going to make you feel? So cut throat it hurts.

11. Painsomina

100% is a thing. 100%. You are so sore, that you can’t even sleep. But you are so tired and exhausted from being in pain all day and you just wanna sleep. But you can’t, cos your in pain still and you cannot get comfortable no matter how hard you try or how many painkillers you take. You are just awake, dying a slow death whilst watching time slowllllllly tick by.

12. Explaining to your new partner what is wrong with you

Isn’t the “it sometimes hurts to have sex” convo literally the worst? Explaining to a male who has it drilled in his head that periods are even more taboo to talk about then the devil, that what Endometriosis is and how it effects you, ughhhhhh such a drag. I actually have now decided we should get like gold medals after having this conversation?

13. The initial convincing the doctors theres something wrong with you saga

Omg how did I nearly forget this one? THE ABSOLUTE WORST! Trying to convince a medical professional that your BODY HATESSSSSSS YOUUUUU and them not believing you for idk, like 8 years (using that number as its the average time a girl has to wait for a diagnosis) is so horrible. I remember the “take some pandadol, its just a bad period” chats like it was yesterday. You leave feeling so deflated and so mental

14. The after surgery gas

Haha k, I’m sorry, we have to discuss it. The first few days after surgery, and all that gas that they have pumped your tummy with is leaving your body, so embarrassing lol. You feel so un feminine and its so unacceptable. With no choice in the matter, “Pardon me” becomes your new favourite saying

15. When tired really, reallllly means TIRED

I literally hate it when I get to this point. When you actually have to put thought into picking up each leg when you walk. When simple tasks such as the dishes, folding the washing or brushing your goddam teeth feel like an olympic race. Once the fatigue takes over, the only thought I can concentrate on properly is getting myself to bed.

16. The bloating

You don’t know bloat until you have meet the Endo belly bloat right? Being that bloated sucks, especially when it means you can no longer eat your favourite chocolate unless you want to deal with the 4 month pregnant belly look. Even worse, looking pregnant when you run the possibility of never actually being able to be pregnant – can suck it.

17. Having your period, like all the time

SO many of us have been here – the never ending period. The waiting for it to finish and it never does. The loosing count of how long it has been since you didn’t have to change a tampon. The “OMG WHY WONT YOU GO AWAY” tears whilst sitting on the toilet unwrapping yet another night pad that will only last an hour because the flow is so heavy. Lets all have a moment of silence for all those who have been there, we deserve it.

18. You become your friends and families pharamcist

“So, can I take these two medications together?”

“You know that thing I got off you that time I felt nauseas, can I take some home with me?”

“I have a headache, do you have anything that will help?”

“Will I be fine if I take this without food?”

“How many of these can I take at once?”

19. Cramps

Its an obvious one, yet one that still needs to be addressed. How flipping sore are those cramps though? Cramps in your belly, cramps in your back, in your legs, in your actual vagina! Like enough is enough. However your body doesn’t understand that saying and just keeps throwing you cramps on cramps.

20. Calling in sick for work

Having to try and explain that periods are not an easy task for you and that you need to stay home in bed to your manager is not a fun or ideal task. Having them believe the severity of it can be so hard. Especially when you did this last week, and now you have the same problem and they can’t quite get their head around how you have your period again in such a small amount of time? Like when is ” I have my period and I have Endometriosis so leave me be” going to be an acceptable reason for a sick day? I vote it should be now.

Guys, honestly lol – I could sit up all night typing because the list seems to be never ending. Feel free to add “the confession you wanna make but never say” into the comments below – I can’t wait to see what you all have to add and what I’ve missed!

Hope you had a lil laugh relating to the above.

[survivemiddleearth]

Episode 1: “Hobbits, we gonna slay this all the way to Isengard.” -JG

I’m back and better than ever!

Heylo! Who loves a pre-game confessional oh we do! I cannot wait for this season to be honest. I am finishing a season as we speak being in the final 3 so the adrenaline rush and hype is so real. I am a not a super fan of LOTR but I do love and enjoy the the stories. I read the books when I was in second grade and the saw the movies for the first time in 7th grade. My goal is to be like Frodo in this game, make myself known when it's really important and needed, then disappear when I am not, why make a target on myself when I don't need to. Hopefully the power of the ring won't consume and something wild happens.... eeks here goes nothing, FOR MIDDLE EARTH!

Ahh fuck Johnny is in this game he's gonna betray me I know it fml I just wanna win an org how hard omfg

This is my first org in 5 months and honestly I forget how to play. I'm just gonna do whatever and I do how I do, but I'm not gonna be scared to yeet people out of here.

Part of my strategy is to try and be social to everyone in the beginning. I want to try and have a conversation with everyone on my tribe as soon as possible and try to gain a slight favor so people think I have something to contribute to them if we happen to lose the first immunity challenge and go to tribal

First confession of a new game is always a lot. I haven’t played since…March? Maybe even earlier than that. And if you know me, you know there’s been a lot of drama surrounding me since then, so I’m definitely nervous to be back in the saddle and playing again. Pre-merge queen. Basically, on my tribe, I feel…neutral to nervous. I have Dylan R, who is my ORG child, so I should be able to work with him fairly easily. I’ve also hosted Eric, which could be good if he weren’t friends with so many people who don’t like me. Same boat with Vi. I’m hoping I can kind of work both of them to my side, but it might not be possible and I may just have to rely on Dylan keeping me in the loop. There’s also a newbie, which is usually a good sign. Finally, we have Johnny. I FEEL like Johnny has an issue with me from something, but I’m not 100% sure. I love reaching a point in my life where I can’t remember who hates me and why, but, hey, that’s running and destroying the biggest ORG series since Mains for you. As for the other tribes……..yikes on a bike. Aside from Zach, JG, and Stephen (more of my sons), we’re fairly stacked with people who would cut my throat without a second thought. Drew has seen me play before and we had a, uh, messy relationship in that game. I’m certain Sammy still hates me from Lago and also from The Drama since he’s friends with the core few people who hate me. Nick I don’t know, but he has “skinny” in his bio as a positive which means we probably won’t get along, plus he came from tengaged which can be a yikes. Crow I hosted for like three seconds in Emathia, so maybe he’ll have mercy on me. Dennis I think hates me from the Athena stuff. Bodhi I think hates me, and I’m not wild about him either. Roxy I know hates me but I don’t have any idea why since we’ve never spoken. Probably just more Athena Stuff. Hopefully I make merge with JG. That’s going to be my big hope for this season. Well. Idol hunting is going to be my lifeblood. Wish me luck, unless you hate me like everyone else.

So Drew in this game? Kill me with an axe right now. What the fuck is JG doing here? I'm finished, I was going to play nice but THREE zwooper people are on my tribe. MESS.

Small tribe, which means riskier tribals early on but its easier to get to know everyone. So far Roxy and.. dnn??? I like (I’ll check the cast reveal for what we should be calling dnn). JG and Sammy I know from other games, I feel I can trust JG a little, we’ll see. Sammy I don’t know I like to give people clean slates but almost every game we’ve been in he’s gone straight for me. Bodhi hasnt messaged me back yet :/

Hello ! Welcome to my first confession. Excited to exist. I haven’t met everyone in the tribe yet but I am playing with my old host so that’s funny. I don’t really have any interesting things to say so just. Hello. The first immunity challenge is one that I really didn’t do well in the first time I played so. Yikes. Whatever I’m still excited !!

Well hey! Got a clue on my very first idol hunt? But in a series so aggressively dominated by men, where the hell is "sisterhood" supposed to take me?

Honestly, I did not want to do the first challenge. I know I am good at it, but I didn't want to be the one responsible for losing for the tribe since its a hero challenge. I made up an excuse which is not a lie and is at the same time. Hopefully our tribe does well at the challenge!

This game so far is really stupid, I mean no talking during heats is fine but the fact that my tribe didn't offer any condolences or anything like "you tried" is rude and frankly, tragic.

You ever agree to face an Australian in an endurance challenge at midnight your time, 2pm his time? What a disaster for me

What are half the things mentioned here. Like what's a hobbit. I know its a movie but like, really? There better not be a quiz on LOTR or I am getting last place.

Yas!!! I love getting lucky and being on a winning tribe. First immunity lets go hobbits, we gonna slay this all the way to Isengard. So far I've mingled and stayed for tea with my hobbits and gotten to know them. Of course I'm excited to play with Stephen again, cool to finally meet Roxy and Bodhi. We shall see what will happen I'm anxiously, excitedly nervous. But let's go!

You know the most embarrassing part of losing that comp in 2 seconds? The fact that I almost called in sick to work bc I wanted to free my schedule for the day. Yeah that was a flop. If I get eliminated first that would be simultaneously hilarious and also very depressing. No one other than Eric and Jay have messaged me so I should probably like. Pop in and say hi

watches crow flop

My tribe is so...INACTIVE.

In this immunity challenge, I have no other option but to beat Vi if i dont, I will lose my spot in this game, I swear on it

Im deciding if I should tell Crow Run wants him out. I like Run but I gotta cover myself...

So uh...it’s kinda fuckin wild. We lost and don’t really have an easy vote because everyone’s active and ready to play the damn game. I’m fairly certain there’s a large majority though I don’t think anyone will be absolutely shocked about who goes home.

I'd like to start this seasons confessionals of with saying that I absolutely hate Bodhi. Since he took my Tom Bombadil and then told me, he had forgotten that he was cast for this season... LIKE COME ON ARE YOU SERIOUS, THATS MY AVATAR. After calming down I saw the tribe I was on. Bodhi (AJUSNKDIKWQJNE), Roxy, Sammy, Stephen and JG. I have played loads with Sammy and Roxy before. Stephen seems nice. Bodhi must die and JG is prolly the hardest person to talk to since I was in kindergarten. I mean. It should be that hard to give proper answers to your questions. MAYBE it was because he was busy playing the inferior BR game fortnite, but still come ON. I agree to play the challenge, but didn't need to actually do something in it, since Stephen and Sammy beasted it. The idolsearch first went SUCKY. because I went to bree ignored Aragorn, got durnk and got a 35 % DISADVANTAGE ON MY NEXT CHALLENGE (LIKE WHO THOUGHT OF THAT HIGH NUMBER) then at my next search I find out, that the other option I had, prolly would've given me an Idol... OH MAN PLEASE DONT LET IT BE GONE I WANT THAT.

You know I'm winning when my tribe wins immunity. Time to take the free time to make an alliance of my own. I have to choose who I want to trust for now.

okay so i haven’t made a confessional yet but I’m super excited to see some familiar faces in the game. I’ve played with Dennis before but I know that if I’m a threat to his game he will take me out so it’s a good person to stick with for now but idk if I can trust him in this game. JG is very friendly and chill but I’ve onkg played another game with him where he quit. He had a lot going on so I understood but I’m willing to work with him again if he’s willing. ROXY IS ON MY TRIBE AND SHE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I KNOW SHE WILL NEVER VOTE ME OUT. SO I GOT HER AND IM EXCITED. Okay and who else? oh yes Stephen! Stephen is cool and I’m 100% down to work with him despite our past in orgs. I just don’t want him to think of me as an enemy. If we have to boot out someone I’d say bodhi would be the most obvious choice because he hasn’t been active...but bodhi is a fun player to play with I’m just hoping he becomes more active before our tribe decides to give him the boot. I see Crow in this game and he’s super nice and I’m so glad I’m playing with him and also Johnny is playing and I’m hoping he’s gonna want to work with me. Okay okay I’m done for now. Let the games begin.

CRAP i forgot to talk about immunity and idol search...okay sooooo i went heat 2 after Stephen won heat 1 and like i was expecting to be targeted bc if I won, my tribe would get immunity. However Dylan(I’m sorry if i umm spelled that wrong) forgot the period and Crow spoke out of turn or something and I won...I was shocked but glad that it didn’t last as long as the first heat. Oh and I searched for the idol and went to the bar or something and it turns out the item i was gonna get had been snatched before I had a chance....WE GOTTA THIEF IN HERE....I’m just trying to make it to merge so i need any advantage i can get.

Johnny just approached me for an alliance and I told him, "of course johnny! :)" But I am internally screaming like "nooooooo why meeee," because just before this game we were talking about how Johnny likes to betray everyone in orgs so now I'm like, please just let me win one org I got Ryan V casted in Bermuda you owe me.

The nice thing about not going to tribal council is that it really gives you the time to flex that social game and work on building up relationships, which is super important early in the game.

me doing this 4 hours before tribal is a mood but uhm ahem in conclusion, i've heard 8 names this round and let me breakdown how and why begin: i tell nick i think first boot should be someone who didn't compete, and then narrow it down to jayden or zach nick tells me he's been pushing for jayden and that drew is on board and is working on zach jayden comes to me saying he knows he's in trouble and asking me what to do, he reveals that runs ratted out nick about targeting him i tell nick runs ratted him out nick reveals to me that runs has been pushing me to everyone (confirmed by Drew, and later Jayden, as well) i confront rataways subtly and he insinuates that his loyalty is to me and that we're friends and my BS alarm goes flying off the charts rataways thinks he's sly but he's not end: im voting rataways and got confirmation from jayden and drew that they'd do the same....currently working on nick who has supposedly already told zach to vote runs as well if everybody minus rataways isn't a completely shady bitch, this should be an easy 5-1 with rataways thinking he somehow has votes on me and i'll probs get idoled out but w/e. i'm not going to lose my sanity trying to beg rataways not to vote me, idc. oh and i threw the immunity challenge cuz tribal seemed fun (and boi it is!)

Well I wasn’t the first person evicted so I consider this season an accomplishment. I’m trying to attach myself to Ford, since he’s completely new.

Alright hold on a second. 2nd day. 2nd conversation with JG. AND its like day & night. He seems pretty chill :). MAYBE HE WAS JUST BUSY WITH FORTNITE (what I as a gamer understand. I mean.. you gotta set priorities.. right?). Just wanted to clarify, so I don't come over as a dick at the end of the season. In case we end up being best friends *shrugs*